An important question to ask ourselves to support ourselves in being 100% responsible

​

"What did I contribute?"

​

• My boss sided with my colleague against me because of office politics. 

​

Yes, there may be some truth to what you say.

 

But ask yourself these questions about your possible contributions.

​

• "In general, have I initiated and maintained a partnership attitude with my boss?"

• "Regarding the issue involved, did I approach my boss and/or colleague with a partnership attitude to find a way toward a mutual understanding?"

• "In what ways might I have contributed to the conditions that led up to the dispute with my colleague?"

• "Was I sensitive to the early signs that a dispute might be developing with my colleague?"

• "If I could go back in time, knowing what I know now, could I have taken steps such that this dispute might never have developed?"

​

• My housekeeper stole some valuable coins that I had hidden away and then he disappeared.

​

Yes, your housekeeper contributed to the fact that he found and took those coins and then disappeared (assuming that you are accurate in your assessment that he was the one who took the coins).

 

But ask yourself these questions about your possible contributions.

​

• "In general, did I initiate and maintain an atmosphere of mutual admiration, appreciation, and respect with my housekeeper?"

• "Was I sensitive to whether or not my housekeeper felt he was getting a good and fair deal in his transactional relationship with me?"

• "Could my valuable coins have been more securely kept such that, because of lack of knowledge or access, my housekeeper would have not been tempted to steal them?"

• "Did I initially gather personal network contacts of my housekeeper so that he would know I had the ability to initiate contact with them should something go awry?"

• "Knowing what I know now, aside from not hiring this housekeeper, what could I have done differently such that this issue would not likely have occurred?"

• "How certain am I that my housekeeper was a factor in those coins missing?"

​

​

​

​

​