Wise words? You decide...

BIG IDEAS
IN A FEW WORDS

When a child throws a temper tantrum, we recognize it as such: an attempt to get their way through anger and blame. If we are wise, we will listen and even sympathize, but we will not reinforce their behavior by defensiveness and/or by indulging it.

Many of us, however, are not so adept at recognizing adult temper tantrums, when adults use blame or threat of blame (sometimes called guilt-pushing) as a method to dominate another and get their way. We do not choose courage to listen and even sympathize, without indulgence or defensiveness. Instead, we often defend or cave in, training others to use temper tantrums again and again with us in the future. Why shouldn't they since you've trained them so well?!

One is not always happy when one is good; But one is always good when one is happy.

If you ask ten people to use your service and you get one "yes," then, if the profit of getting one "yes" is more than the cost of asking ten times, then choosing courage to ask ten times makes sense.

If you apply to 27 jobs to get one job, then, if the value/profit of having that job is more than the cost of applying for 27 jobs, then the courage to apply for 27 jobs makes sense.

Often, however, we don't know how many tries it might take for something to be successful. In this case, we might want to decide what is the maximum about of tries we would need to make before the cost of the tries will exceed the benefit of getting a "yes." And, then, if we exceed that number of tries, then the choice of courage might be to quit.

You've lost your camera. Is it a problem? Or is it an adventure?

You've had an argument with your best friend. Is it a problem? Or is it an adventure?

It's all about how you frame it? Which do you prefer?

If you've got time to be bored, then you've got time to either get curious and creative about how to enjoy the process of what you're doing or about how to do something else instead.

I, Dwight, exist to train, coach, and inspire each individual in the world to create easily their own life as a dancing journey of self-expression…a moment-to-moment and day-to-day self-expression that is both self-inspiring and self-fulfilling, together with being an authentic contribution to those around them and to the world.

Many of us habitually focus on things or judge ourselves by things that we have little or no control over (and often are not our business).

This creates upset both for ourselves and for others.

Moreover, it distracts us from paying attention to those things that we can control and in staying in our own business.

The origin of at least 99% of all violence against others starts with blame.

But what is the origin of blame?

The words "trade war" sound like "a type of war between countries." Nothing is further from the truth. A "trade war" is each country competing with the other to see which one can damage their own citizens more.

For example, the American government imposed tariffs "against" China on steel and aluminum, thereby increasing the price of all those goods for every American citizen.

Then China responds by essentially saying, "You think you can screw your citizens better than we can screw ours?! Watch us. We just slapped tariffs on 125 imports from America. We have surely screwed our citizens better than you have screwed yours!"

And the final "winner" of the war will be the country that created the most damage for its own citizens.

How to know if someone knows nothing about cats...

If they think that the cat's purring sound means "the cat is angry."

If you're tolerating a situation, a job, a relationship...whatever you're putting up with, tolerating is probably the worst option.

Choose context, creativity, and courage to:
1) fully accept whatever it is or...
2) change whatever it is or...
3) quit whatever it is.

Do others think you are selfish if you act selfishly, short-term as well as long-term…

If you do your best to see how you can contribute to the selfishness of others by dovetailing their selfishness with your own…

Even though you are acting completely selfishly, others will much more likely think you are "unselfish" rather than "selfish."

If you think you have a "long way to do," then just focus on enjoying the journey.

Then you will discover that the way is not long and it may actually be over too soon!

Some Americans romanticize "Chinese family values," the idea of the close family structure. Yes, I am sure there are benefits associated with the strong family ties that Chinese typically feel. But there are a lot of costs.

I am wondering how long those rose-colored glasses would last if those same Americans saw how many Chinese couples stay in a very unhappy marriage "for the sake of the children"? Or they saw how so many young Chinese will bow to their parents' insistence to choose majors that they have no interest in. Or how many Chinese young people who are deeply in love will say goodbye to their true love because their parents disapprove of their choice? Or how many Chinese will stay in a job they hate because their parents think it is a "good, stable job"? Or how many adult Chinese children will reluctantly live with their parents because that is what the parents want?

All this is an expression of "strong Chinese family values."

100% of suffering is caused by the habitual resistance to the fear and pain that we, on occasion, may feel. Another way to say it is that 90% of pain and fear in the world is caused by resistance to the other 10%.

Learn to make friends with that 10% and you can eliminate the other 90%.

AskDwightHow.org 365/24/7

14m 24s

Wise words? You decide...

BIG IDEAS
IN A FEW WORDS

One is not always happy when one is good; But one is always good when one is happy.

If you ask ten people to use your service and you get one "yes," then, if the profit of getting one "yes" is more than the cost of asking ten times, then choosing courage to ask ten times makes sense.

If you apply to 27 jobs to get one job, then, if the value/profit of having that job is more than the cost of applying for 27 jobs, then the courage to apply for 27 jobs makes sense.

You've lost your camera. Is it a problem? Or is it an adventure?

You've had an argument with your best friend. Is it a problem? Or is it an adventure?

It's all about how you frame it? Which do you prefer?

If you've got time to be bored, then you've got time to either get curious and creative about how to enjoy the process of what you're doing or about how to do something else instead.

Many of us habitually focus on things or judge ourselves by things that we have little or no control over (and often are not our business).

This creates upset both for ourselves and for others.

Moreover, it distracts us from paying attention to those things that we can control and in staying in our own business.

The origin of at least 99% of all violence against others starts with blame.

But what is the origin of blame?

The words "trade war" sound like "a type of war between countries." Nothing is further from the truth. A "trade war" is each country competing with the other to see which one can damage their own citizens more.

For example, the American government imposed tariffs "against" China on steel and aluminum, thereby increasing the price of all those goods for every American citizen.

Then China responds by essentially saying, "You think you can screw your citizens better than we can screw ours?! Watch us. We just slapped tariffs on 125 imports from America. We have surely screwed our citizens better than you have screwed yours!"

And the final "winner" of the war will be the country that created the most damage for its own citizens.

How to know if someone knows nothing about cats...

If they think that the cat's purring sound means "the cat is angry."

If you're tolerating a situation, a job, a relationship...whatever you're putting up with, tolerating is probably the worst option.

Choose context, creativity, and courage to:
1) fully accept whatever it is or...
2) change whatever it is or...
3) quit whatever it is.

Do others think you are selfish if you act selfishly, short-term as well as long-term…

If you do your best to see how you can contribute to the selfishness of others by dovetailing their selfishness with your own…

Even though you are acting completely selfishly, others will much more likely think you are "unselfish" rather than "selfish."

If you think you have a "long way to do," then just focus on enjoying the journey.

Then you will discover that the way is not long and it may actually be over too soon!

Some Americans romanticize "Chinese family values," the idea of the close family structure. Yes, I am sure there are benefits associated with the strong family ties that Chinese typically feel. But there are a lot of costs.

All this is an expression of "strong Chinese family values."

100% of suffering is caused by the habitual resistance to the fear and pain that we, on occasion, may feel. Another way to say it is that 90% of pain and fear in the world is caused by resistance to the other 10%.

Learn to make friends with that 10% and you can eliminate the other 90%.

Wise words? You decide...

​

BIG IDEAS IN A FEW WORDS

One is not always happy when one is good; But one is always good when one is happy.

If you ask ten people to use your service and you get one "yes," then, if the profit of getting one "yes" is more than the cost of asking ten times, then choosing courage to ask ten times makes sense.

If you apply to 27 jobs to get one job, then, if the value/profit of having that job is more than the cost of applying for 27 jobs, then the courage to apply for 27 jobs makes sense.

You've lost your camera. Is it a problem? Or is it an adventure?

You've had an argument with your best friend. Is it a problem? Or is it an adventure?

It's all about how you frame it? Which do you prefer?

If you've got time to be bored, then you've got time to either get curious and creative about how to enjoy the process of what you're doing or about how to do something else instead.

Many of us habitually focus on things or judge ourselves by things that we have little or no control over (and often are not our business).

This creates upset both for ourselves and for others.

Moreover, it distracts us from paying attention to those things that we can control and in staying in our own business.

The origin of at least 99% of all violence against others starts with blame.

But what is the origin of blame?

The words "trade war" sound like "a type of war between countries." Nothing is further from the truth. A "trade war" is each country competing with the other to see which one can damage their own citizens more.

For example, the American government imposed tariffs "against" China on steel and aluminum, thereby increasing the price of all those goods for every American citizen.

Then China responds by essentially saying, "You think you can screw your citizens better than we can screw ours?! Watch us. We just slapped tariffs on 125 imports from America. We have surely screwed our citizens better than you have screwed yours!"

And the final "winner" of the war will be the country that created the most damage for its own citizens.

How to know if someone knows nothing about cats...

​

If they think that the cat's purring sound means "the cat is angry."

If you're tolerating a situation, a job, a relationship...whatever you're putting up with, tolerating is probably the worst option.

Choose context, creativity, and courage to:1) fully accept whatever it is or...2) change whatever it is or...3) quit whatever it is.

Do others think you are selfish if you act selfishly, short-term as well as long-term…

If you do your best to see how you can contribute to the selfishness of others by dovetailing their selfishness with your own…

Even though you are acting completely selfishly, others will much more likely think you are "unselfish" rather than "selfish."

If you think you have a "long way to do," then just focus on enjoying the journey.

Then you will discover that the way is not long and it may actually be over too soon!

Some Americans romanticize "Chinese family values," the idea of the close family structure. Yes, I am sure there are benefits associated with the strong family ties that Chinese typically feel. But there are a lot of costs.

All this is an expression of "strong Chinese family values."

100% of suffering is caused by the habitual resistance to the fear and pain that we, on occasion, may feel. Another way to say it is that 90% of pain and fear in the world is caused by resistance to the other 10%.

Learn to make friends with that 10% and you can eliminate the other 90%.

BIG IDEAS
IN A FEW WORDS

Choose context, creativity, and courage to:
1) fully accept whatever it is or...
2) change whatever it is or...
3) quit whatever it is.