Damages caused when Next dominates Now
in the Now-Next family feud

When Next occurs as being able to get his or her way

at the expense of Now, then it can seem that we’re “successful” and we’re being responsible.


But this lack of integrity between Next and Now devastates the quality of our life. The following are often the results of a life more dominated by Next:

Damages caused by Next dominating Now


  • No feeling of freedom or spontaneity

  • Overpromising, overwhelm, and feeling rushed (because Next thinks more accomplishment is always better); having no buffer

  • Tolerating the process and trying to get through the process just for the results

  • Disappointing others (because Next overpromises)

  • Feeling like you’re always having to prove something

  • Always being busy, but without a sense of fulfillment

  • Always feeling behind on things and so much more to do

  • Being impatient with yourself and others

  • Disappointment in yourself and blaming yourself for any Now motivated behaviors that manage to surface; feeling guilty

  • Unaccepting and judgmental of any Now motivated behaviors in others (especially if those others are your children)

  • Feeling that life is hard

  • Feeling that life is unfair

  • Feeling that life is boring

  • Feeling that life is scary and dangerous

  • Regretting the past and even waiting for life to be over

  • Can’t feel the meaning of life; what’s it all for anyway?

  • Resignation

  • Lost self-confidence in your ability to be happy

  • Lost energy and passion

  • Lost curiosity, playfulness, spontaneity, and adventure

  • Lost sense of an exciting future (it will just be more pushing)

  • Depression and anxiety


Let’s now look at a new world, a world of integrity between Next and Now, a world in which Next and Now both win.

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