The wars, battles, and skirmishes

The ongoing wars, battles, skirmishes, and generally adversarial relationship between the Oneself and Others constitute the second most fundamental problem of humanity. See Oneself and Others for a full depiction of the carnage this creates.

The tools in this toolkit, singly and in combination, create peace and cooperation between Oneself and Others. They create Oneself-Others Integrity.

The following issues (problems) will be minimized or more likely disappear as you create and maintain Oneself-Others Integrity.

Problems that will disappear

  • Feeling that others take advantage of you

  • Feeling that others don't appreciate you and what you've done for them

  • Feeling guilty when others blame you (or might blame you)

  • Regretting or feeling guilty about your past

  • Feeling like you can't trust others

  • Being upset with others when they don't meet your expectations

  • Feeling betrayed by another

  • Thinking that others don't give you what you deserve

  • Feeling resentment towards others

  • Blaming others

  • Not living a life true to yourself

  • Difficulties in saying "no"

  • Difficulties in making requests

  • Difficulties in setting and maintaining good boundaries with others

  • Difficulties in removing your mask and being authentic

  • Difficulties in expressing appreciation to others

  • Not feeling listened to or understood

  • Not feeling respected

  • Not feeling liked or loved

  • Not feeling supported by others

  • Difficulties in listening to others

  • Difficulties in being patient with others

  • Difficulties in creating and maintaining mutually enjoyable conversations with others

  • Difficulties in resolving conflicts with important people in your life

  • Difficulties in under promising to others

  • Difficulties in not keeping your promises to others

  • Feeling defensive with others

  • Feeling alone or loneliness

  • Feeling pressured by others

  • Feeling intimidated by others

Oneself-Others integrity should be a #1 priority, right!?

Check out your current Oneself-Others integrity EQ:

The tools below will move your OOI EQ toward 100%

Prerequisite tools

Contextual tools

Actions tools

Tools in the queue

  • Apologizing

  • Becoming the parent for yourself that you never had (context)

  • Becoming unbetrayable

  • Being more selfish is better for others (context)

  • Being your own best friend

  • Complete truth process

  • Curiosity about others

  • Did you let him or her do it?

  • Distance creates beauty (a Chinese proverb)

  • Fairness (it can be dangerous to your relationship)

  • Five languages for expressing love

  • Forgiving others quickly and easily

  • Getting by giving

  • Giving by getting (how well do you let others contribute to you)

  • HISU (include tone of voice)

  • How to speak non-blame (NVC)

  • It's not about you

  • Just four: requests, promises, yes, and no

  • Knowing how you occur for others

  • Knowing you've got a great deal

  • Letting go of "it means somethings about me" (issue of powerlessness)

  • Lying

  • Occurring for others cf occurring for yourself (context)

  • Oneself and Others need each other (context)

  • Patience with others

  • Personal questions (back and forth)

  • Playing with the "law of reciprocation"

  • Put your oxygen mask on first (context)

  • The "popularity" of no response

  • Rapport

  • Religion

  • Respect cf. love (context)

  • Setting and maintaining good boundaries with others

  • Setting and environments

  • Solve Now-Next to resolve Oneself-Others

  • TLA or Together living apart (romantic)

  • Voice image: its power in relationships

  • Undoing awkwardness

  • Undoing being a victim and/or blaming others

  • Undoing betrayal

  • Undoing complaints

  • Undoing defensiveness

  • Undoing knowing (context)

  • Undoing pressure

  • Undoing revenge

  • Undoing shyness

  • Unpromising

  • What women want from men; what men want from women

  • Whose business are you in? (is it actionable?)

  • Why your selfishness is others' best friend (context)

  • Why the selfishness of others is your best friend (context)

  • Words and phrases which may stimulate defensiveness (I don't understand)