That's the fisherman's problem

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You've got to hear this story about St. Peter and John the fisherman.

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John's hobby was fly fishing. He lived for it, always looking for a break from his work or other responsibilities to drive up to one of his favorite streams to cast his rod out into the waters to see what he could catch.

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Then John died. 

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St. Peter met him. "Have I got something to show you!"

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St. Peter lead John to an idyllic rushing stream where John was surprised to see a few fish jumping into the air to catch flying insects. 

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"Here's all you're going to need to begin your fishing."

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John took the fly-fishing rod from St. Peter. He also noticed some waders, wading boots, a fishing net, and everything else he needed, organized neatly near the edge of the flowing water.

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Eager to get started, John cast the fly over the stream and into the water. Within seconds he felt the tug on his line. He reeled in a fish which was likely the most beautiful specimen he had ever caught. Quickly he cast the fly across the water again. This time a fish jumped out of the water to swallow the bait as it flew through the air! A third time confirmed that this was going to be the best fishing experience he'd ever had. "Oh, thank God," he exclaimed, "This is pure heaven!"

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"I'm going to leave you to it. If you need anything, just holler. I'll come a-running," St. Peter said.

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John caught fish one after another, each one almost begging him to fish faster. After two hours, John called out to Peter, who appeared instantly. 

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"Something's wrong here. Fishing is not fun anymore. I thought that heaven was supposed to be a happy place."

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St. Peter replied with a malicious grin, "Who told you this was heaven?"

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Without problems life would not be life

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A non-problematic word for problem is "something that we want to be different that might be changed by taking actions to effect that difference."

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A problem is an opportunity to play and win at a game, the playing of which could be fun in itself.

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"Life is a game.

In order to have a game, something has to be more important than something else.

If what already is, is more important than what isn’t, the game is over.

So, life is a game in which what isn’t, is more important than what is."

-Werner Erhard

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There is no way out of the games, until you die. And maybe not even then, as John the fisherman discovered.

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Are we focused on the right problems?

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How much fun and effectiveness we're likely to have in playing the different games in life depends a lot on choosing and framing the right problems.

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One big mistake we make in choosing problems is that we choose, usually by default, problems which don't belong to us.

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Here's an explanation from Byron Katie which will help you stay out of problems which don't belong to you. ​

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"Notice when you hurt that you are mentally out of your business.

If you’re not sure, stop and ask, 'Mentally, whose business am I in?'

There are only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God’s.

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Whose business is it if an earthquake happens?

God’s business.

Whose business is it if your neighbor down the street has an ugly lawn?

Your neighbor’s business.

Whose business is it if you are angry at your neighbor down the street because he has an ugly lawn?

Your business.

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Life is simple—it is internal.

Count, in five minute intervals, how many times you are in someone else’s business mentally.

Notice when you give uninvited advice or offer your opinion about something (aloud or silently).

Ask yourself: 'Am I in their business? Did they ask me for my advice?' 

And more importantly, 'Can I take the advice I am offering and apply it to my life?'”

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Internal and external problems

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The second biggest mistake that limits our fun and effectiveness in dealing with problems is that we don't make the distinction between these two types of problems and we don't recognize that it's the internal problems that cause our suffering and also interferes with us effectively dealing with the external problems.

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From this it becomes clear that the best problems to tackle first are the internal ones. That will give us the most bang for the buck in being able to have fun and be effective in the life game of solving problems, otherwise known as taking actions to change things we'd like to change.

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Knock out the big ones first

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Just as knocking out the leader of an opposing team can be much more effective than eliminating a regular member of that team, knocking out the bigger or biggest internal problems can often result in the smaller internal (and even external) problems just disappearing.

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How to identify those prime targets

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First just ask yourself, "What's is that one internal (even though it may seem external) problem of my life that, if it were solved, would make the biggest difference in the quality of my life?"

 

Even if an answer doesn't come to mind quickly, that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist for you.

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• Perhaps you've become resigned about something because you've decided it can't change.

• Perhaps to "make life easy" you've set your sights low, pretending that you're okay with that.

• Perhaps you don't recognize a problem as a problem because everyone seems to have it and you think that is normal. 

• Perhaps you think you already know what to do to solve the problem, but you're not doing whatever that is, so you don't think anyone could help you with that problem.

• Perhaps you think you should be able to solve the problem by yourself or by using a certain limited technology, so you're reluctant to openly search for other solutions.

• Perhaps you're critical of yourself for having the problem so you're reluctant to look at it with an intention to get it resolved.

• Perhaps you've already tried the solve the problem, even with the help of experts and it's remained intractable, so you don't want to be discouraged again and you're avoiding looking at it further.

• Perhaps a part of you knows that you get a lot of benefits from not solving this problem so you don't want to consider a possible resolution.

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All these reasons and more may account for why you're unaware of that big problem.

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Take this fun "Your Life EQ" quiz to help you get clear about what that big juicy problem is.

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