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Sometimes, just a few carefully delivered words
(see Voice tone: make an impact)
can shift a conversation in a more felicitous direction.
Here is your toolkit of such words.
Know these tools so you can have them
at the ready 
when needed.

Words that Work Wonders

I need to cool down...

I noticed my automatic reaction...

I want to say yes, but...

I'll ask you a personal question, then...

​Is that a curious "why" or a blaming "why"?​

Until you speak to me...

Coach me to see it your way

How could we use each other better?

Let's put the problem over there

Making a request without imposing (please say "no")

Tell me something I don't know...

There's no rush and...

Wink at me if I do it again

Words to keep communication going

Heads up

You'll need to program your gatekeeper (that part of you responsible for vetting what comes out of your mouth before it does) to consider the possibility of using wonder words instead of a knee-jerk response that might get you in more trouble. If needed, use Kickstarting a Mental Habit to get this installed. 

Some people object to using wonder words with, "People don't talk like this. It's strange." I agree. Speaking wonder words can occur as strange. And that is part of the reason they are effective. The other person will notice the "strangeness" and will pay more attention to what you're actually saying because of that. And it may be a choice of courage for you to speak them. Check out the FFI toolkit.

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