Sometimes, just a few carefully delivered words
can shift a conversation in a more felicitous direction.
Here is your toolkit of such words.
Know these tools so you can have them at the ready
Words that Work Wonders
Coach me to see it your way
How could we use each other better?
I'll ask you a personal question, then...
Let's put the problem over there
Making a request without imposing (please say "no")
Tell me something I don't know...
There's no rush and...
Wink at me if I do it again
Words to keep communication going
You'll need to program your gatekeeper (that part of you responsible for vetting what comes out of your mouth before it does) to consider the possibility of using wonder words instead of a knee-jerk response that might get you in more trouble. If needed, use Kickstarting a Mental Habit to get this installed.
Some people object to using wonder words with, "People don't talk like this. It's strange." I agree. Speaking wonder words can occur as strange. And that is part of the reason they are effective. The other person will notice the "strangeness" and will pay more attention to what you're actually saying because of that. And it may be a choice of courage for you to speak them. Check out the FFI toolkit.