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The Satirical Cynic's Cyclopedia

                  As I don my satirical robe of proud cynicism,

  come join me in my dance between uncommon lexical exactitude and playing loosely goosey with word meanings and nuances, as I pontificate about human existence.


Adult  A serious state of self-delusion in which we try to fool others, and even ourselves, that we're no longer a child.


Altruist  A person who consistently denies the fact that their concern for others is not fundamentally motivated by wanting to feel better themselves.


Busy  This word serves two purposes when spoken as, "I'm busy." First, it is worn as a medal of honor, proving that you're doing enough. And by glorifying the chains of your business, you get to hide from the fact that you've made a mess of planning your life with no buffer and no sense of leisure.


Child A perfect being who is the natural exemplar and instructor for adults, those adults who erroneously believe that they should be the teacher of the child.


Childhood  That period of time in your life when you were joyful, adventurous, curious, playful, creative, authentic, and fully self-expressed, later trading it for adulthood and a world of shoulds and should nots so you could be responsible, work hard, and hopefully look good to others by doing what you thought they expected of you.


Complainer  someone who starts and maintains a special interest group with their leadership role as a complainer by stimulating others to join the group of complainers who complain about the complaining of the leader.


Defensive  the best way to be to ensure that others will attack you more so you'll need to get more defensive. 


Good, bad, right, and wrong  These four handmaidens of "should" and "should not" provide adjectival support for the king and queen of morality and proper conduct (see should).


Good guy  someone who's found some bad guys they think they are better than even though those bad guys think they are better than the first guy who thinks he is the good guy. No one is willing to be the bad guy in their own eyes. 


Guilt  Use this sneaky process to heap coals of fire upon yourself to feel miserable so that you might blunt the actual or possible disappointment, criticism, or blame of another or others. You're saying, "Look, I'm already feeling bad about this. You can go easy on me. I'm not such a bad person after all."


If I have time  Meaning "no" yet allowing the speaker to avoid choosing courage to reject someone directly and thereby to save face for everyone, as in "If I have time, I'll come to your party."


Jerk  a person who stimulates you to lose any desire or interest in understanding their lack of understanding of you and what you want. 


Man  a simple, yet attractive being that women keep trying to make more like a woman. (see woman)


Maybe  A must-have word for looking good now to yourself and others while giving yourself an easy out for avoiding doing the uncomfortable later, as in "Maybe I'll go to the gym tomorrow."


Mother fucker  A jerk on steroids.


Marriage  A contract of entanglement where both parties agree that they will not reassess the validity of the contract no matter how the circumstances change for the worse.


Not comfortable  The well-behaved and wily way to say directly, "I'm not willing to choose courage to do that," as in "I'm not comfortable to come out of the closet at this time."


Persistence  A virtuous idea (see virtue) that one should never give up no matter the costs or the change in circumstances.


Positive  A cloak of hypocrisy that many wear: "I'm a positive person." Without exception, these same personages are not positive about things and people who are negative. You will even espy them complaining about the complainers. And assuredly may even catch them blaming those who blame them for blaming them.


Prejudiced person  someone you're prejudiced against for their prejudice against you or others.


Safety  what we all want more of and are willing to be foolhardy to try to ensure it.


Selfish  Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.(Ambrose Bierce)


Should and should not  These two directives provide the foundation which justifies the honorability of all human suffering. They validate each and every one of our choices in which we decide to fight with reality.


Taker  Someone who takes advantage of an opportunity created by a giver intent on proving they're an altruistic good guy by not creating boundaries where they are taking care of themselves.


Virtue  A euphemism for the vanity of wanting to appear to be good and an accepted member of society.


Why  A cunning little word that often wears the mask of innocent curiosity when, in fact, its intention is to nefariously impugn the motives of another, as in "Why didn't you remember my birthday?"


Woman  A complicated yet attractive being ultimately unfathomable to that simple being called man. (see man)

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