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Problems

To solve your specific problem, click here

What is a problem?

A problem is anything you want to be different but you're not clear yet on how to effect that difference. Even if you want something to stay the same that may change, if you don't do something to keep it the same, is also a problem. You're still wanting something to be different than it would otherwise be if you didn't take some action. However, just wanting something to be different doesn't in itself constitute a problem. If you accept your wanting as just wanting and you also accept that you're either unable to or don't intend to take any actions toward possibly satisfying that desire, then you don't have a problem. Problems can be internal problems or external problems or a combination.

Problems are a built-in feature of life. As Werner Erhard said, "Life is a game. In order to have a game, something has to be more important than something else. If what already is, is more important than what isn’t, the game is over. So, life is a game in which what isn’t is more important than what is. Let the good times roll." 

AskDwightHow solves problems fundamentally...this may be a problem for you

"I just want to stop procrastinating. Tell me how to do that."

"My only problem is to lose 50 pounds. Let's only focus on that."

"I would be happy if I could just make more money. Tell me how to do that."

"If I could just stop worrying, my life would be okay."

Specialization is often important. A targeted approach can be powerful. We live in an age of specialization. If you don't specialize, you can't get ahead in life and be recognized as "the best."  

But specialization can also be dangerous and may cause us to miss much bigger opportunities. One common example regards medical doctors. They specialize in a remedial approach to health. Consequently, most doctors are shamefully unaware of or unfocused on preventive approaches, such as nutrition, for staying healthy or recovering health.

We're wary of the panaceas

And we should be. Cure-alls in life are few and far between. However, to the extent that we can identify more fundamental underlying principles and approaches, we can create life approaches that can have deep and far-reading effects. 

The power of the fundamental principle

I have distinguished two fundamental issues, and four sub-issues, as well as their solutions that together provide the key to solving all internal problems, which means all the problems that cause suffering. The overview of those problems and their solutions is provided at Anatomy of Integrity.

Let's consider the following problems

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  • Allowing others to control you

  • Anxiety

  • Attachment to someone or something

  • Attachment to using pejorative words, or even sometimes laudative words

  • Avoiding something or avoiding to think or talk about something

  • Blame and criticism of others

  • Busyness

  • Comparing yourself negatively to others

  • Complaining

  • Defensiveness

  • Depression

  • Difficulty sleeping

  • Doubt

  • Carefulness

  • Embarrassment

  • Envy

  • Exhaustion

  • Feeling pressured

  • Feeling overwhelmed

  • Feeling behind on things

  • Feeling not good enough

  • Feeling not smart enough

  • Guilt, regret

  • Indecisiveness

  • Irritability

  • Jealousy

  • Lack of ability to enjoy solitude

  • Lack of confidence

  • Lack of connection with others

  • Lack of curiosity

  • Loneliness

  • Perfectionism

  • Procrastination

  • Nervousness

  • Not making requests of others; not asking for what you want

  • Not saying "no" to others when you need to say "no"

  • Not saying "yes" to others when you'd like to say "yes"

  • Not setting and maintaining good boundaries with others in order to take care of yourself

  • Seeing yourself or others as a victim

  • Self-criticism

  • Seriousness

  • Shoulding (believing things or others should or should not be a certain way)

  • Shyness

  • Tolerating something

  • Trying to control or dominate others

  • Trying to improve

  • Trying to prove something (like "that you're good enough" or that "you're a good guy")

  • Wearing a mask (not sharing more openly)

  • Worry

Addressing problems at their source

All of the above feelings and behaviors, which often occur as problems for us, are created or contributed to by dufear (resisted fear). As such, all these problems, plus more, can be solved by the contexts and tools detailed in the FFP toolkit for getting clear about fundamental facts and processes and the FFI toolkit for creating Frightened-Fearless Integrity, which addresses the issue of choosing courage. If you also top that off with the tools in the NNI toolkit to round out your Now-Next Integrity and the OOI toolkit to creates Oneself-Others Integrity, you have a good chance of solving or disappearing all these problems, not just one or two.

These most fundamental toolkits are supplemented by the NFS toolkit which focuses on nutrition, fitness, and sleep, the XXI toolkit, which addresses more specific issues regarding romantic relationships, and the ACI toolkit, customized to address adult/parent-child relationships. And then there's the unique  WWW toolkit for "words that work wonders."

This can be the power of addressing issues on a more fundamental level, rather than sticking with specialization.​​

Targeting specific problems

You may want to target you problem more specifically. See if you can find your problem in the following alphabetical list. If I have written one or more links more precisely addressing that problem, either partially or more fully, those links will occur right after the problem name. If no specific links exist yet for a given problem, it doesn't mean I won't write one later. Later can be sooner if you make a request. 

Regardless, I may also show links to the toolkit(s) that you can reference to discover and create the solution to your problem with a more general approach. This list doubles as a type of glossary complementing the main glossary. Such entries are indicated with "(index)."  This list is under construction.