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Undoing shoulds:
Benefits, costs, possibilities, and risks
These are the fundamentals to use to balance
and make our choices in life, not whether or not something is "good or bad, right or wrong"
or any other HOGAB construct.
How to assess the value of choices or potential choices
Every choice includes benefits, costs, possibilities (the odds of future benefits), and risks (the odds of future costs). Short-term and long-term. For you and for others. The best of all possible worlds for each one of us to guide our choices based upon these assessments, using the best tools available to integrate the short-term with the long-term, as well integrating the impact on both ourselves and on others.
Who gets the benefits
Benefits, costs, possibilities, and risks accrue to individuals. If we say that some new condition (example: a lower price on tomatoes) provides a benefit to a group of people, it is only accurate to the extent that we are talking about tomato buyers (assuming they prefer lower prices) and that the same condition could create a cost for some tomato farmers or sellers who are forced out of business (or have to cut corners). Also, it’s very important to distinguish short-term benefits, costs, possibilities, and risks from longer-term ones. Example: if I snort cocaine, I will likely enjoy strong short-term benefits of feeling great. But the long-term costs could be huge. Or, about-face, if I accept the shorter-term discomfort (costs) associated with eating more raw green vegetables, I may be more likely to enjoy the longer-term happiness associated with having more energy and being healthier (benefits).
Creating Now-Next Integrity
The major issue that confronts creating Now-Next Integrity is the seeming conflicts that often occurs between shorter-term benefits, costs, possibilities, and risks and those that are longer-term. The NNI toolkit is your go-to resource for resolving these conflicts and creating Now-Next Integrity.
Creating Oneself-Others Integrity
The major issue we encounter when creating Oneself-Others Integrity is the often occurring conflict between increasing benefits and reducing costs for myself vs. increasing benefits and reducing costs for others. Example: the benefit for me of taking a nap in the afternoon vs. the cost to others that I won’t be available during my nap to do what they may want or need of me. The OOI toolkit is your go-to resource for resolving these conflicts and creating Oneself-Others Integrity.