Ways to create and maintain
Special note: this page is under developed: for now check out the OOI toolkit to find links that specifically relate to Selfish-Service Integrity.
Oneself-Others conflicts are a combination of Express-Emage conflicts and Selfish-Service conflicts. If somehow we grew up and survived totally without connection with other humans, no such conflicts would exist.
Selfish-Service conflicts arise when our desire/need to take care of ourselves (our Selfish) seems to conflict with our desire/need to take care of and support others (our Service). Are we going to be selfish or are we going to be altruistic?
Express-Emage conflicts arise when two distinct types of desires/needs seem to conflict, and that we think must choose to sacrifice one over the other. The first type, Express, is our desire and need for full self-expression, and authenticity, without self-censorship. The second type, Emage, is our desire and need to look good to others and avoid looking bad as well as to feel a sense of belonging with others.
Of course, in any given situation, both these issues could be at play.
RAFTS (reluctant and frightened to share)
Undoing fear of rejection/not looking good