OOI TOOLKIT
The ongoing wars, battles, skirmishes, and generally adversarial relationship between the Oneself and Others constitute the second most fundamental problem of humanity. See Oneself and Others for a full depiction of the carnage this creates.
The tools in this toolkit, singly and in combination, create peace and cooperation between Oneself and Others. They create Oneself-Others integrity.
Prerequisite tools
Contextual tools
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Benefits of being a victim
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Beyond belonging
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Blame and guilt: its big costs and short-term benefits (the fault paradigm)
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Competition for victimhood (video 2:12)
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Having day-to-day and long-term sustainability in relationships
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It's not about you
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Our addiction to force, blame, and defense
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Soul to soul
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Trust (this issue is fundamental)
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Understanding boundaries
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What will you sacrifice to belong?
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Who's to blame?
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Whose business is it?
Actions tools
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Boundaries
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Courage to hear "no"
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Dead but not gone (atheists included)
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Eye to eye
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Having great long-term relationships: keep them selfish and transactional
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How to trust others
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How you occur for others (YOFO)
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How to gently tell someone to stay our of your business
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How to get around the elephant in the room
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Making requests
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Undoing anger
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Undoing arrogance
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Undoing comparing (negatively to others)
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Undoing "not good enough"
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Undoing overwhelm
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Using a listener (for self-coaching)
Tools in the queue
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Apologizing
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Becoming the parent for yourself that you never had (context)
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Becoming unbetrayable
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Being more selfish is better for others (context)
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Being your own best friend
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Curiosity about others
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Did you let him or her do it?
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Distance creates beauty (a Chinese proverb)
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Fairness (it can be dangerous to your relationship)
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Five languages for expressing love
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Forgiving others quickly and easily
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Getting by giving
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Giving by getting (how well do you let others contribute to you)
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HISU (include tone of voice)
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How to speak non-blame (NVC)
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It's not about you
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Just four: requests, promises, yes, and no
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Knowing how you occur for others
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Knowing you've got a great deal
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Letting go of "it means somethings about me" (issue of powerlessness)
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Lying
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Occurring for others cf occurring for yourself (context)
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Oneself and Others need each other (context)
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Patience with others
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Personal questions (back and forth)
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Playing with the "law of reciprocation"
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Put your oxygen mask on first (context)
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The "popularity" of no response
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Rapport
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Religion
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Respect cf. love (context)
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Setting and maintaining good boundaries with others
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Setting and environments
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Solve Now-Next to resolve Oneself-Others
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TLA or Together living apart (romantic)
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Voice image: its power in relationships
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Undoing awkwardness
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Undoing being a victim and/or blaming others
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Undoing betrayal
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Undoing complaints
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Undoing defensiveness
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Undoing knowing (context)
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Undoing pressure
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Undoing revenge
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Undoing shyness
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Unpromising
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What women want from men; what men want from women
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Whose business are you in? (is it actionable?)
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Why your selfishness is others' best friend (context)
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Why the selfishness of others is your best friend (context)
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Words and phrases which may stimulate defensiveness (I don't understand)