The ongoing wars, battles, skirmishes, and generally adversarial relationship between the Oneself and Others constitute the second most fundamental problem of humanity. See Oneself and Others for a full depiction of the carnage this creates.

The tools in this toolkit, singly and in combination, create peace and cooperation between Oneself and Others. They create Oneself-Others integrity.

Prerequisite tools

Contextual tools

Actions tools

Tools in the queue

  • Apologizing

  • Becoming the parent for yourself that you never had (context)

  • Becoming unbetrayable

  • Being more selfish is better for others (context)

  • Being your own best friend

  • Curiosity about others

  • Did you let him or her do it?

  • Distance creates beauty (a Chinese proverb)

  • Fairness (it can be dangerous to your relationship)

  • Five languages for expressing love

  • Forgiving others quickly and easily

  • Getting by giving

  • Giving by getting (how well do you let others contribute to you)

  • HISU (include tone of voice)

  • How to speak non-blame (NVC)

  • It's not about you

  • Just four: requests, promises, yes, and no

  • Knowing how you occur for others

  • Knowing you've got a great deal

  • Letting go of "it means somethings about me" (issue of powerlessness)

  • Lying

  • Occurring for others cf occurring for yourself (context)

  • Oneself and Others need each other (context)

  • Patience with others

  • Personal questions (back and forth)

  • Playing with the "law of reciprocation"

  • Put your oxygen mask on first (context)

  • The "popularity" of no response

  • Rapport

  • Religion

  • Respect cf. love (context)

  • Setting and maintaining good boundaries with others

  • Setting and environments

  • Solve Now-Next to resolve Oneself-Others

  • TLA or Together living apart (romantic)

  • Voice image: its power in relationships

  • Undoing awkwardness

  • Undoing being a victim and/or blaming others

  • Undoing betrayal

  • Undoing complaints

  • Undoing defensiveness

  • Undoing knowing (context)

  • Undoing pressure

  • Undoing revenge

  • Undoing shyness

  • Unpromising

  • What women want from men; what men want from women

  • Whose business are you in? (is it actionable?)

  • Why your selfishness is others' best friend (context)

  • Why the selfishness of others is your best friend (context)

  • Words and phrases which may stimulate defensiveness (I don't understand)

  • Facebook