Our addiction to reacting to the others and to ourselves from a right/wrong/good/bad perspective is the strongest addiction that we will ever have the opportunity to break.
Breaking this addiction is a step-by-step, never-ending process of developing the mastery of creating curiosity and compassion both towards the right/wrong mind-machinery of others as well as the right/wrong mind-machinery of our own, letting go of blame and criticism both for others and for yourself.
Welcome to one of the biggest games in town!

Often my Chinese guests express envy of my lifestyle. They usually add, "But I could never do that in China." The rules of their culture seem so unbendable to them and they are resigned to living a life that they "have to live."
It's hard for me to imagine any American blaming their culture for not being able to create the lifestyle they want.

“Why” has two opposite meanings…

With one tone of voice, "Why did you do/say that!", we are blaming the other person for what they did or said and we have no interest in putting ourselves in their shoes and understanding "why."
In contrast, with different tone of voice, inquisitive and non-blaming, "Why did you do/say that?", we are curious and quite interested in understanding the reasons behind another's words or actions.
The first way of using "why" is toxic and disempowering to our relationships. The second way of using "why" is healthy and will likely empower our relationships.

FACT: Back pain is the single leading cause of disability worldwide. In the US, back pain costs over $50 Billion in missed work days, per years.
I used to have back pain. But not any more. I suspect it's because I...
1) have a standup desk, walk around a lot
2) bounce regularly on my rebounder
3) while at my standup desk, use my "full body vibration machine" at least an hour each day.

We show people our mask (either by "lying" or by "keeping things close to our chest") most often so that they will like us or love us more.
However, there are two big problems if we are successful.
1) We will have to use a lot of energy to maintain our mask.
2) And they will like/love our mask, not us...thereby leaving us lonely and feeling unloved.

Doing "nothing" is a very rare condition for human beings.
If you're watching TV, you're doing something.
If you're worrying, you're doing something.
If you're thinking about what to do next, you're doing something.
If you're trying to do nothing, you're doing something.
The only way to do nothing is to create an environment where there is nothing to do and give yourself permission to do nothing. Then, if you're lucky, you may notice that you're doing nothing (at least for some short period of time).
My cat Princess is a master of doing nothing. She often indulges in this. She is my role model.

On occasion I will check out some body issue with a doctor here in China (especially since I can do it for less than $1). If he gives a diagnosis or treatment for my condition, I will ask him probing questions about what evidence he has to support his position.
Then, usually, before taking any action, I will research his diagnosis and treatment suggestions on the Internet. More often than not, I will decide either to modify his position, to do something different, or to do nothing at all (if you keep your overall health in good shape, then the body usually knows how to provide its own "best medicine").

If you want to buy something new, you have several different ways you might pay for that.
You can earn more money.
You can borrow more money.
You can save money by not buying (or buying more cheaply) what you're already buying.

When we want to add some new activity to our life, we don't have the same flexibility as with money.

No one has more than 24 hours in a day.
You can't buy more (except perhaps through delegation).
You can't borrow more.

If you want to add a new activity, you must:
Give up something you're already doing (either by delegating or by eliminating something, like watching so much TV).
By making more time by becoming more efficient in something you're already doing.
By finding a way to do things concurrently (like I exercise using my stand-up full-body vibration machine while I am working on the computer).

Be careful when you add some activity to your life. Ask yourself, "How am I going to pay for this?"

When you’re trying to find a job you love, then love the job of finding the job you love.

The secondary purpose of setting goals is to get or create something that you want, need, and/or are excited about having.

The primary purpose of setting goals is so that you have something to go for that you can set up an enjoyable process and journey of moving towards.

Most of us have our primary and secondary purposes demoralizingly reversed, thinking that results should take precedence over enjoying the process.

COPYRIGHT 2018-2020 BY DWIGHT GOLDWINDE