The difference between a fantasy and a risk…
If you know that you will never divorce and you'll have a great marriage till the end, that's a fantasy.
If you know it's possible that you may never divorce and you'll have a great marriage to the end, then that is accepting the risk (either way) of your marriage, with your eyes open.
Showing respect to others and your kids, while making it easier on yourself…
Imagine you're out and about with your young child. Your child wants to interact with your friend, colleague, or acquaintance. You're worried that your child will bother them. Therefore, you try to protect the other person from what your child is trying to do.
I have noticed this happening many times when a parent was trying to protect me from their child.
As a parent, consider saying this to your friend, "If you would like me to protect you from my child, please let me know. Otherwise, I will assume you can take care of yourself. Is that okay? Will you let me know if you need my help with my child?"
Assuming they agree, then, not only have you shown respect to your friend and to your child (they get to work it out together between themselves), but you also free up yourself to relax.
Learn to love the game even more than getting the results you want. When you put the game first over the results, in the big picture, you'll accomplish even more than if you put results first.
Many people love and yearn to experience the blue sky, the sunrise, the mountain view, the water fall, and all of nature's wonders. I enjoy these too.
But what truly inspire me are the skylines of large cities with all their tall buildings, cloverleaf interchanges, airports, and modern malls, abustle with their bonanza of customers, shops, products, services, and clerks.
So much free stuff!
Although it never gets counted in the GDP, we are becoming richer and richer everyday from all the free (or almost free) stuff that is available!
Google and baidu information searches
Video calls with Skype around the world
Making payments from our mobile phones
Listening/watching streaming audio and video (e.g. Spotify and YouTube)
And it all comes to us, not through government services (that are paid for by forced taxes), but by people trying to make a profit and/or contribute to society voluntarily.
And other things have gotten so cheap: I am using some reading glasses right now that I paid $1 for.
Long live competition, the free market, and trade!
A slave is defined as "a person who is the legal property of another and is forced to obey them." For the most part, it seems that slavery has been outlawed in the world.
Except for one area where we don't even think to call it "slavery." Military conscription. Yes, there are some differences from what we normally think of as being a slave.
1. It is limited in time to two+ years.
2. You get some compensation, in addition to being fed.
You're not required to obey every type of "command" from your "boss," only some types.
But you are required to kill others (or provide support to kill others), something non-military slaves are usually not required to do.
If I had a choice between being a non-military slave or a military slave (two-year term for each), it might be a toss up for which I would choose.
If you have made friends with your fear (you're still resisting it), whatever you try to do is likely to be much less effective...it's like trying to do something with one hand tied behind your back.
Jesus said, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It's a pretty good idea. However, if we reverse it, it becomes a better idea.
"Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you."
Everyone wants love, respect, and compassion from others. Therefore, this new idea means we should first give love, respect and compassion to ourselves.
If we put this as our priority, it will be easy and natural to treat others in the same way. But, as long as we are not treating ourselves with love, respect, and compassion, it will be difficult to treat others this way.
We have been taught that to be a good person we should fulfill our duties and sacrifice ourselves by putting others first.
How kind is this?
If you thank someone for something they did for you and they genuinely reply with, "It was my pleasure," you have just completed a transaction that served the self-interests of both parties.
In contrast, if you thank someone for something they did for you and they reply with, "It was my duty," you have just engaged in a win-lose transaction (except for the relief they may feel from having done their duty), instead of a win-win.
Yet the second type of transaction has been held up as the "moral one," in contrast with the first type, which may be considered either amoral or immoral by the traditional ethicists. The old ethics is unkind.