How trust and lack of doubt often make a mess of our lives

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Trusting others (positively)

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"I trusted he wouldn't betray me, but he did."

"I counted on being able to keep this job, but they let me go."

"I expected my kids to do their homework, but they watched TV instead."

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Trusting yourself (positively)

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"I'm sure I'll remember that; I don't need to write it down."

"I'm sure I will be able to be a great husband for my wife."

"I'm sure that I can build a successful company."

 

Trusting you know reality (positively)

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"I thought I had a good plan, but I didn't allow for it taking so long."

"I just knew everything would fall into place, but the universe was against me."

"I did everything I was supposed to do, but it's still not working."
 

Trusting others (negatively)

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"You just can't trust women. I'm not going to let them hurt me again."

"People are so selfish. It's dog eat dog."

"You can't be too careful in this world when dealing with others."

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Trusting yourself (negatively)

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"I know I'll never be able to stay on a good diet so why even try."

"I'm just no good with math."

"I'll always be a loser at knowing what to say to others."

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Trusting that you know reality (negatively)

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"People just get old and sick and then die...that's how it is and always will be."

"I'm sure humanity and the world are headed for a big catastrophe."

"The idea of a wireless personal communicator in every pocket is 'a pipe dream driven by greed'."

     -Andrew Grove, CEO of Intel (in 1992)

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The optimists and the pessimists are both wrong

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The optimists, who are biased toward false positives, are adept at blinding themselves so that they can avoid the fear they think they would feel if they looked for and acknowledged the risks and costs that they are or might be incurring in the choices they are making. They also get the benefit of indulging in the excitement of counting their chickens before they hatch, often setting themselves up for disappointment.

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And additional danger that the optimists incur is that, when being so positive in their thinking, they don't plan for contingencies and they can feel blindsided when their expectations are not fulfilled. Additionally, they can take others for granted and, in doing so, don't do their best in maintaining the best relationships with others, especially those they are close with.

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The pessimists, who are biased toward false negatives, are adept at blinding themselves by denying the possibilities (positive risks) that, if they tried, they might get those things they wanted. Just as with the optimists, this makes them feel safer because they "know" not to even try. And they also get to avoid the fear of the possible disappointment they think they would feel if they started to believe they could get what they wanted. They get the benefits that accrue from never counting their chickens before they hatch because their chickens don't bother laying eggs.

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Pessimists can suffer additional problems because their projections become self-fulfilling prophecies, reinforcing their conviction about how right they have been all along.

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Less trust and more doubt (applied both ways) will give you an amazing life

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The key is choosing courage (both the optimists and pessimists need it) to prioritize finding as much truth as possible in the risks and costs and well as the possibilities and benefits of all our life choices, whether taken consciously or by default.

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