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Defense bias

The tendency to defend or justify ourselves when we feel attacked, insulted, or slighted...or we feel concerned about looking like the bad guy.​

Example: "Why didn't you call me last night?!" 

The defense bias is so endemic and seems so natural, it's hard to see it in ourselves or hard to imagine why it would be better not to defend ourselves. But as Byron Katie said, "Defense if the first act of war." Use undoing defensiveness to let go of defensiveness. Also see Do you believe in shoes? Really?!

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