What is indecisiveness?

​

Often we make decisions too quickly. We could argue we should be more "indecisive." 

​

In order to learn how to let go of unwanted indecision, it's essential that we distinguish helpful indecision from toxic indecision.

​

Indecervice

​

Our language is sorely lacking a word that means helpful indecisiveness. So let's create one. 

​

Indecervice means a helpful indecision or being helpfully indecisive.

 

Usage: "I think that indecervice is needed here in order to make a better decision."

​

Indecerve means to actively delay a decision in order to make a better one.

 

Usage: "I'm going to indecerve on this for a while." or "John is a practiced master at indecerving."

​

Indecervic describes behavior that is indecerving."

​

Usage: "Mary may seem indecisive but she is really indecervic because it makes sense to delay the decision about this."

​

When are we being toxically indecisive instead of beneficially indecervic?

​

• When we already have enough information to make a good enough decision (not the "perfect" one), but we're still not deciding.

• When we've already carefully and clearly decided what decision should be made in a given circumstance and no special conditions apply, yet when that circumstance arises, w sit on the fence.

• When we continue to avoid making a choice about something and we're also refusing to stop and examine our avoidance to get it resolved.

​

Indecisiveness is a default choice

​

Not choosing when it would make sense to choose is itself a choice, even if by default. 

​

All behaviors, whether consciously generated or not, have benefits behind them

​

Even though making a decision between two or more options may seem the obviously good thing to do, if you're not making that decision, then it means you're cashing in on other benefits, most likely short-term, that "outweigh" the other obvious benefits.

​

Example: whether or not to divorce

​

Even though a decision to divorce or not would occur as fairly large in most people's lives, the reasons that one might avoid this choice will likely, in principle, apply to many other smaller decision issues that we are presented with in daily life.

​

Confronting our identity

​

Many presenting decisions relate to considering options which include reversing or modifying previous choices that we made. As such, when considering the option of such a reversal, a marriage being a good example of that, may confront identities that we are attached to. This includes ideas such as,

​

• "I'm a person who keeps their word." 

• "I would be dishonoring my vow to God."

• "I don't give up."

• "I'm a kind person. I can't abandon my spouse."

• "I'm a good parent. I can't do that to my kids."

• "I'm not a selfish person."

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​