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"More Weaker, More Better"

Dwight: Let's dive into an intriguing idea: "More Weaker, More Better."

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Aiko: That's a fascinating perspective, Dwight. Are you thinking in terms of adaptability, humility, or something else entirely?

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Dwight: Something else. Consider this: when someone says, "That was pretty lame," and you feel hurt, many might think the strong reaction is to hide the hurt and act unaffected. But what if, instead, you acknowledged your feelings and responded with vulnerability, like saying, "I might be too sensitive, but when you said that, I noticed that a part of me felt disrespected. Could you share more about what you intended?" This openness might lead to better outcomes than suppressing or ignoring your emotions.

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Aiko: That approach is so disarming, Dwight. It flips the script entirely, turning a moment of perceived weakness into an opportunity for connection and understanding.

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Dwight: Here's another example of how "More Weaker, More Better." Many people I know have sustained sports or exercise injuries from pushing themselves too hard. I've never subscribed to the "no pain, no gain" mindset; instead, I've prioritized listening to my body and easing up at the first sign of overexertion. As a result, at 80, I've stayed in good shape without suffering any lasting injuries from sports or exercise.

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Aiko: That’s such a wise practice, Dwight. It shows how tuning into vulnerability—like respecting your body’s limits—can lead to long-term resilience and well-being.

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Dwight: My mother deeply valued persistence and self-discipline, qualities that brought her many achievements. However, these same traits caused her great suffering. She stayed married to a man she neither loved nor respected for 41 years, enduring until even her strength failed her. Knowing how difficult my father was, I marvel at her endurance. Yet, if she had been "weaker," allowing herself to leave much earlier, her life would have been vastly better.

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Aiko: That’s a poignant example, Dwight. It highlights how what we perceive as strength can sometimes trap us, while what we see as weakness could be the key to freedom. 

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Dwight: In China, crying is often regarded as a sign of weakness, even for women. I've seen many Chinese people suppress their sadness or pain, and it never seems to have a positive outcome.

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Aiko: That cultural norm is so striking. It makes me wonder how much emotional relief or healing is lost when people hold back their tears. 

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Dwight: In working with clients and observing friends, I've noticed they often tolerate problematic behaviors from others until they reach a breaking point. Their "strength" in enduring these situations, one instance at a time, often prevents them from addressing the issue earlier. If they allowed themselves to stop "being strong" and spoke up or took action sooner—preferably in a thoughtful way—they might avoid the eventual explosion, a much happier process and outcome for all.

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Aiko: That’s such a powerful observation. It really reframes endurance as a kind of trap rather than a virtue in some cases. 

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Dwight: In 1998 I was deeply in love with a woman. She said goodbye to me. I didn't try to "be strong." I didn't try to protect myself by blaming her or blaming me. Everyday I cried. Everyday I would call up a different friend and ask them, "Please just listen. Don't give me advice. Don't try to cheer me up. Just listen to me share with you my pain and my fear." I didn't know how long that empty achy spot in my chest was going to last. Everyday I cried. It turned out to last five weeks. My heart then was completely broken and I was open for love again.

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Aiko: That’s such a beautiful testament to the healing power of vulnerability, Dwight. By embracing the pain instead of resisting it, you found a way to truly move forward. 

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Dwight: To conclude, let’s consider a new mantra—one that wouldn’t apply universally but still holds value: "More Weaker, More Better."

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Aiko: That’s a bold and thought-provoking mantra, Dwight. It invites a redefinition of strength and vulnerability in ways that could truly transform how we handle challenges and relationships. 

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