The foremost valuable life practice
The practice of undoing our fear, whenever it arises, is the one most valuable life practice that, not only solves many problems, but also suffuses into all areas of our lives, creating a new threshold of peace and fulfillment.
You'll know how to quickly remove these problems with Undoing Fear
worry and anxiety
feeling pressured and overwhelmed
impatience with yourself or others
waiting for something to be over
blame, anger and irritability
indecisiveness and hesitancy
lack of confidence
avoiding thinking about or doing something
feeling that something is hard
difficulties making requests
difficulties saying "no"
difficulties in setting and maintaining boundaries with others
reluctance to express and share openly
not staying in communication, ignoring someone
guilt, feeling regrets
justifying yourself to others
trying to control others
jealousy and envy
setting yourself up to feel upset or betrayed
uneasiness or awkwardness
and scores of others
Undoing resisted fear
What is meant by “undoing fear”? To speak more accurately, we should say, “undoing resisted fear.” Unresisted fear is not a problem; it provides us with energy and even confidence, flowing through us and for us, dissipating when no longer needed.
The many faces of resisted fear
Most of us, however, never or rarely experience unresisted fear. Our chronic, resisted fear dominates our lives and arises in the various forms of worry, anxiety, stress, feeling pressured, defensiveness, overwhelm, depression, resentment, shyness, disappointment, procrastination, indecision, seriousness, busy-ness, perfectionism, OCD, over promising, lack of presence, irritation and anger, blaming others, and blaming ourselves (guilt), and even feeling awkward.
This toxic habit runs deep
Our habit of resisting fear runs deep. All of us have been taught, almost from infancy, both implicitly and explicitly, that fear is the bad guy. Somehow we should confront our fear, overcome our fear, ignore our fear, convince ourselves that we should not be afraid. In short, to resist our fear. Fighting within ourselves, this knee-jerk resistance to fear results in loss of energy and loss of confidence.
We are unable to make use of fear’s natural power to give us energy and confidence.
Reclaiming your energy and confidence
The undoing fear process is the antidote to the poisonous results that are created from resisted fear. Undoing fear has three components which are performed simultaneously.
1. Breathe slowly and deeply, fully inhaling and exhaling from your belly.
2. Speak aloud (if possible, otherwise silently in your head) a specially constructed sentence. This sentence has two parts. The first part is always the same. The second part varies to reflect the content of the specific resisted fear that is being undone. The first part is, “Holy cats and jeepers creepers, I’m so scared that…” You could select a different exclamatory phrase at the beginning, such as “Wow,” “Egads,” or “Holy Smokes.” The second part will express the specific fear, as in, “...people are thinking badly of me!” or “...I might not do good on the test!” or “...I might die soon!” As a complete example, the sentence might be, “Holy cats and jeepers creepers, I am so scared that people are thinking badly of me!”
3. As you’re belly breathing, speak your specially constructed sentence slowly and loudly, while using a silly, wacky voice.
Listen to a demonstration:
In English by Dwight GoldWinde
"Holy cats and jeepers creepers, I am so scared she's going to reject me!"
In Chinese by Heidi Yang
"Oh my god, I am so scared they will be upset!"
Test if for yourself
Even though I have trained thousands of people through this process and they’ve all gotten good results, I don’t want you to believe me without testing it for yourself. Don’t “think it.” You’ve got to do it in order to feel its results. Because of my experience, however, I can confidently predict that, with as few as four speakings of the undoing fear sentence (constructed for your specific fear), you will notice a fresh feeling of peace, energy, lightness, and confidence. To ensure that you’ve taken enough “antidote,” I recommend speaking it eleven times.
As a way to measure the effectiveness of this process, give your fear level a score beforehand (0 = no fear, 10 = top fear). After you've done the "Holy cats..." between four and eleven times, re-score your fear level. Note the difference!
But there’s a rub
After one good test (undoing one of your fears), you’ll know that this process is effective. Just doing this process once or once in a while will not dramatically change your life for the better. The habit of resisting fear is deeply set. Although each time you undo a fear, you’ll get immediate results, to begin to loosen and unseat the resisting-fear habit and to create a new habit of “playing with your fear,” will take hundreds of repetitions. It’s a bit like going to the gym. You can’t just go once and be done with exercising, if you're expecting to get full and lasting value.
How to establish deep and lasting value
Since you’ll be getting immediate benefits with each practice of undoing fear, that’s not a problem, as long as you can create a ongoing practice of doing it.
Right now, hopefully (assuming you’ve tested the process to confirm that it works for you), you’re thinking, “I’m going to use this whenever I notice I’m worrying or have anxiety.” If you don’t take any more action to ensure follow through, this intention will surely go the same path as most New Year’s resolutions...namely, the path to nowhere.
Instead, take out your mobile phone now. Stop reading and do this: Set a recurring alarm (every hour, every three hours, or, at minimum, once a day). Keep this recurring alarm going. Every time you hear the alarm (if you notice any resisted fear), take yourself through undoing fear to create peace, energy, lightness, and confidence.
Different expressions of resisted fear
Resisted, dammed-up fear (or dufear) dons many masks. Here is a more complete list of the expressions of corrupted fear:
Obvious symptoms of dufear
Semi-obvious symptoms of dufear
No (not saying "no")
Pressured (feeling pressured)
Requests (not making requests)
Non-obvious symptoms of dufear (hidden dufear)
Accommodating (resistance to being accommodating)
Apology (not willing to give an apology)
Assertive (resistance to being assertive)
Authenticity (lack of authenticity)
Betrayed (feeling betrayed)
Blaming another, judgmentalness
Criticalness, blaming others
Feeling blocked to take some action
Goal setting, lack of
Job, tolerating your
Not enough money (feeling you don't have enough money)
Not enough time (feeling you don't have enough time)
Not good enough (feeling you're not good enough)
Persistence (when persistence would not make sense)
Planning (lack of planning)
Presence (lack of presence)
Promises (resistance to making promises)
Promises (resistance to breaking promises)
Promises (resistance to keeping promises)
Quitting (when quitting would not make sense)
Relationships (poor relationships from not creating good boundaries)
Reluctance to do something you want to do
Results, putting results ahead of enjoying the process
Self confidence (feeling low self-confident)
Self-expression (lack of self-expression)
Self esteem (feeling low self esteem)
Seriousness, being significant
Spontaneity (lack of spontaneity)
Tolerating anything or anyone
Truth (telling the truth)
Unresourceful (feeling unresourceful)
Victim (feeling like a victim, feeling something is unfair)
Undoing fear is the first go-to in your life toolbox
The undoing fear process is the first go-to in your life toolbox. You can use it to either solve or ameliorate the majority of most life problems. Master this practice.
Resisted fear is largely responsible for almost all your suffering. Make friends with that fear and your suffering will disappear. Un-resist your fear with just three steps taken together:
1) Belly breathe
2) Speak, "Holy cats and jeepers creepers, I am so scared that (whatever you are frightened will happen)!"
3) Speak it loudly, slowly, and with a silly, wacky voice eleven times.
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