Self-blamers: the blind who deny they are blind
The set up
As a life coach, my clients often make promises to themselves and to me of what they will do before their next session with me.
In the next session, when I ask them about their promises, which often they have not kept fully, they express guilt in a way that tells me that they were anticipating that I would blame them or be disappointed in them.
Blind to their blindness
No matter how many times I don't blame them and I'm not disappointed, they never learn to let go of their self-defensive response with me. They are blind to how blind they are to noticing what's going on in the outside world. They continue to live in the world of "there must be someone out there blaming me so I'd better beat them to the punch."