Context

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Several times you've attempted to reply to another with respect and curiosity in order to have a better understanding with them about something. Yet each time their response back to you continues to occur as disrespectful or blaming. 

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Wonder Words

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"I will no longer respond to you until you're able and willing to reply in a way that occurs to me as respectful and non-blaming."

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Example

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Your husband says, "How many times do I have to remind you to walk the dog?!"

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You respond with, "I can feel that you're upset with me and I will no longer respond to you about this issue until you're able and willing to speak so that it occurs to me as respectful and non-blaming."

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He responds with, "That is so hostile that you're refusing to answer my question."

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You don't respond.

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He says, "What you're doing is so disrespectful."

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You don't respond.

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He (may finally) say, "You're right I was blaming you and the way I said it was disrespectful."

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You respond, "I feel honored and respected by how you just said that. If you like, we can discuss as partners the issue of me not walking the dog."

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Overview

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Using the "until you speak to me..." approach requires presence of mind and often a lot of courage. Honor yourself for that courage no matter the specific results of how it may ultimately play out in a given circumstance.

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