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Until you speak to me...

Context

Several times you've attempted to reply to another with respect and curiosity in order to have a better understanding with them about something. Yet each time their response back to you continues to occur as disrespectful or blaming. 

Wonder Words

"I will no longer respond to you until you're able and willing to reply in a way that occurs to me as respectful and non-blaming."

Example

Your husband says, "How many times do I have to remind you to walk the dog?!"

You respond with, "I can feel that you're upset with me and I will no longer respond to you about this issue until you're able and willing to speak so that it occurs to me as respectful and non-blaming."

He responds with, "That is so hostile that you're refusing to answer my question."

You don't respond.

He says, "What you're doing is so disrespectful."

You don't respond.

He (may finally) say, "You're right I was blaming you and the way I said it was disrespectful."

You respond, "I feel honored and respected by how you just said that. If you like, we can discuss as partners the issue of me not walking the dog."

Overview

Using the "until you speak to me..." approach requires presence of mind and often a lot of courage. Honor yourself for that courage no matter the specific results of how it may ultimately play out in a given circumstance.

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