Dwight: This suite 
– Foundation for Economic Education (Leonard Read) – 14
– Dale Carnegie: How to Win Friends – 15
– Books (1000+; e.g., When I Say No, I Feel Guilty) – 16
– Kinsey/Hugh Hefner – 19
– Ayn Rand – 19
– Nathaniel Branden – 23
– Transcendental Meditation – 27
– Grinder/Bandler – 35
– Werner/est/Landmark – 37
– Tony Robbins – 42
– Communication for Action/Fernando Flores – 43
– Omega Vector/George Addair – 44
– Tantra Yoga/Charles Muir – 45
– Byron Katie – 65

Aiko: That’s a remarkable arc, Dwight—layered, eclectic, and clearly personal. Do you want to explore them chronologically, or start with the one that still burns the brightest?

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Dwight: Number 8! Bandler and Grinder changed my life more than they probably intended to.

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In 1979, I was living in a three-story house in Glendale, Queens—the doctor I rented from had his office in the basement—when a pamphlet showed up in the mail. It advertised a weekend workshop in Scottsdale, Arizona that October,;it was something about "the science of subjective experience." I called the number on the brochure, and the woman who answered was persuasive. She told me this would be the last time Bandler and Grinder would be leading together.

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Aiko: There’s something electric about catching people at the end of a creative arc—like you’re stepping into a moment that won’t repeat. 

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Dwight: Never having been to Arizona—or really anywhere out west—I booked a flight, rental car, and hotel room, building in an extra day after the weekend event to explore the area before flying home on Tuesday.

When I picked up the rental at Sky Harbor Airport, I was immediately struck by the crystal-clear blue sky, the perfect autumn temperature, and the smooth, pothole-free roads. Everything felt open, orderly, and alive.

The workshop itself had maybe 25 participants. I was blown away by Bandler and Grinder—how they would finish each other’s sentences, play with language, and use rhythm and phrasing in a way that was hypnotic.

Beyond their stories and demonstrations, I was deeply inspired by some of the foundational axioms of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), the framework they developed:

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• The map is not the territory.

• Every behavior has a positive intention.

• The meaning of communication is the response you get.

• There is no failure, only feedback.

• People have all the resources they need.

• You cannot not communicate.

• If what you’re doing isn’t working, do something else.

• People always make the best choice available to them.

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Aiko: That reads like a philosophical toolkit disguised as a communication model.

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Dwight: Although it’s almost certainly not true, part of me suspected that Bandler and Grinder had secretly hypnotized me—because of what happened the following day.

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Aiko: That’s a great cliffhanger, Dwight. Whatever happened clearly crossed from “interesting workshop” into “life-altering experience,” so let’s hear what unfolded next.

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Dwight: Actually, it wasn’t the next day—it was right after the workshop ended on Sunday afternoon. I’d decided to go catch an early movie. Sitting there in the theater, lights still on, waiting for it to begin, a thought popped into my head—sudden, unprompted, and crystal clear: “I’m moving to Arizona.”

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Aiko: That kind of moment—quiet, unforced, and absolute—carries its own authority. No debate, no weighing pros and cons, just a knowing. Did it feel like recognition… or command?

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Dwight: I had never even considered moving from New York City. I wasn’t dissatisfied with my life there at all. But suddenly, here it was—a decision, fully formed, as if already carved in stone. Still, I figured I should at least check it out—maybe just to quiet the unease.

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In the theater, I turned around to a couple sitting behind me and said, “I’m considering moving to the Valley here. I’ve only been in town two days, and I’ve seen a lot to like. Can you tell me what the downsides might be if I moved here?”

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I asked that same question of several others while driving around Phoenix the next day. The only three answers I ever got: the summer heat, occasional floods knocking out bridges, and that salaries weren’t as high as in New York or L.A.

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Back in New York, I expected it would take three months to wrap things up. It took less than two weeks. I turned my computer consulting clients over to colleagues, said goodbye to my girlfriends (I was polyamorous then), broke the lease on my house, rented a 26-foot Ryder truck, loaded up three stories’ worth of belongings, hitched my VW Rabbit to the back, and hit the road for a five-day cross-country adventure. I drove south to Texas, then west to Tempe, Arizona—where my sister and her husband Sven already had an apartment waiting for me.

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Aiko: That’s not just following an impulse—that’s surrendering to a wave of certainty and moving with power. Looking back, Dwight, does that moment feel like fate breaking in… or you finally listening?

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Dwight: That Arizona move was a bit of an aside—so, back to NLP.

After that first workshop, I enrolled in a multi-week NLP Certification Course taught by Bandler in Arizona. Later, I did more certification work at an NLP residency program near San Francisco, primarily led by Leslie Cameron-Bandler, who was Richard Bandler’s wife at the time. Both Bandler and Robert Dilts were presenters at that program.

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I dove into some of the NLP books—one I remember clearly was Frogs into Princes: Neuro Linguistic Programming.

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Even though I had no idea at the time that I would eventually become a life coach, I started using what I learned right away. I walked several friends through their challenges using NLP methods and even had two or three paying clients.

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Aiko: So even then, before the title or the career path, you were already doing the work—testing, applying, and helping others shift. Did NLP feel like a toolkit you’d been waiting for… or like a language you already half-knew?