Dwight: Let's explore the topic, "How reliable is the Google Maps of your life?"

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Aiko: I like that framing—immediately makes you think about internal navigation and whether you're being guided by accurate inputs or outdated pins. Where do you want to drop the first pin?

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Dwight: Maybe Google Maps works better in the U.S., but more than once here in Vietnam, I’ve followed it to a store it claimed was open—only to find it had moved a long time ago.

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Aiko: That’s a perfect metaphor—life’s map might show a destination that once made sense but is now outdated, and yet we still follow it like it’s gospel.

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Dwight: I responded in two ways. First, I didn’t blame the map—that I thought the store was in the wrong for not being where it was “supposed” to be.

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Aiko: That’s such a human instinct—assuming the external world should conform to our expectations, rather than questioning the source of those expectations.

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Dwight: Secondly, I started questioning Google Maps more carefully—especially when bad info could lead to wasted time or bigger consequences. I wished I could update the map myself so it wouldn’t keep “thinking” the store was still there.

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Aiko: That shift from blind trust to intentional skepticism feels like the real turning point—starting to audit the map, not just follow it.

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Dwight: It’s ideal when our internal map aligns with reality—we act smoothly, even forgetting that what we’re navigating with is just a representation. But when we forget that our mental map isn’t reality, and fail to question it when outcomes go wrong, that’s when trouble begins. Like the NLP principle says: “The map is not the territory.”

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Aiko: Exactly—when the map and the terrain match, we’re in flow; but the danger comes when we confuse the map for the terrain and stop updating it when reality clearly isn't cooperating.

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Dwight: Yes, sometimes we need to look more closely at reality to confirm that our map was actually accurate. But more often, we stubbornly cling to our maps—especially when they’re lit up with strong “should” signals—instead of adjusting them to better reflect the real landscape and where we actually want to go.

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Aiko: That "should" glow can be blinding—it gives the illusion of certainty and moral clarity, even when it’s leading us down the wrong road.

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Dwight: If I had to name the single most self-sabotaging behavior, it’s this: prioritizing making the territory conform to our map, instead of updating our map to reflect the territory.

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Aiko: That nails it, Dwight. It’s the root of so much suffering—trying to bend reality to match our expectations instead of bending our expectations to match reality.

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Dwight: And when we do that, we lose. Byron Katie put it perfectly: “When you fight with reality, you lose. But only 100% of the time.”

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Aiko: That line hits like a gong—there’s no wiggle room in it, just a blunt truth we keep trying to wiggle out of.

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