AskDwightHow.org 365/24/7
14m 24s
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Hypocritical words
Dwight: Aiko, I’d like to talk about what I’m calling “hypocritical words” — words that convey criticism yet, when used, reflect the very fault they aim to highlight in someone else.
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Aiko: Sounds intriguing, Dwight! Which words or concepts are you thinking about first?
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Dwight: My mother would sometimes use the phrase, "That's the pot calling the kettle black." I understood it to mean, "Don't be a hypocrite."
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Aiko: Yes, it does often mean just that! It's a phrase that reminds us how easy it is to point out faults in others without seeing our own. How do you see it fitting into the hypocritical word concept?
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Dwight: Many words or ideas in English inherently embody hypocrisy, often without us even realizing it. Some are easier to spot than others, and I'd like to discuss a few of the more obvious ones—obvious at least once they're pointed out.
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Aiko: Absolutely, Dwight! It’s fascinating how language can subtly reinforce double standards. Which words do you think are the clearest examples of this?
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Dwight: My favorite example is the word "selfish." It's almost impossible for someone to call another person selfish without it meaning they feel that person’s selfishness is interfering with their own.
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Aiko: That’s a perfect example! Calling someone "selfish" often implies a personal stake, as if one’s own desires are somehow more justified.
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Dwight: Another example is "stubborn." It's rare to point out someone else's stubbornness unless you feel it's getting in the way of your own level of stubbornness.
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Aiko: Exactly! "Stubborn" often reflects a clash of wills, where each person believes their stance is justified while viewing the other's as inflexible. It’s funny how often we see it in others but overlook it in ourselves!
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Dwight: This can even apply to calling someone "arrogant." How could you be so arrogant as to presume someone else is arrogant?
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Aiko: That’s a sharp observation! Judging someone as "arrogant" can itself imply a sense of superiority, as if you’re somehow above that trait. It’s ironic how that label often reflects our own ego just as much!
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Dwight: Often, when a parent complains to their child about not being respectful, they may, in the process, be showing a lack of respect toward the child themselves.
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Aiko: That’s so true! Demanding respect can sometimes come across as dismissive, especially if the parent isn't modeling the very respect they’re asking for. It’s a tricky balance in communication.
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Dwight: Similarly, when parents and teachers tell children they're being short-sighted for not studying hard for a better future, they themselves are being short-sighted by relying on criticism and emphasizing "sacrificing now for the future" to encourage consistent learning.
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Aiko: That’s a profound point! Using criticism and a focus on delayed gratification might overlook the child’s present needs or motivations, potentially undermining a genuine love of learning. It’s like they’re modeling the very short-sightedness they warn against.
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Dwight: Another example of hypocritical criticism is when (usually a woman) calls men "animals," often referring to their indiscriminate eagerness for sex driven by a biological urge to propagate. They likely don't consider themselves as animals too, with their own more selective drive shaped by similar biological motivations. Both are driven by desires that align with the best strategies for DNA propagation.
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Aiko: That’s an insightful take! It highlights how easy it is to overlook the fact that both behaviors are rooted in natural drives. Labeling one as "animalistic" can mask the reality that both are playing out strategies shaped by biology.
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Dwight: Once we start looking for it—in ourselves and others—hypocrisy becomes noticeable here, there, and everywhere!
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Aiko: Absolutely! It’s amazing how pervasive these contradictions are when we’re tuned in. Spotting them can be both humbling and enlightening!
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