Dwight: Aiko, let's title this topic "Serenity Prayer: On Steroids." For the purposes of this dialogue, we'll address only the first portion of the prayer—the part people seem to remember and quote most often: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

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Aiko: I'm ready, Dwight—what's the steroid version?

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Dwight: Although I align with these guidelines as far as they go, as stated they leave much to be desired—they're not framed in a way that fully empowers a person trying to guide their actions accordingly, and that person is likely to end up at odds with reality.

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Aiko: So the gap is between what the words point to and what they actually equip someone to do—where's the first crack you see?

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Dwight: The largest gap is in the presumption that there's a clean yes/no dividing line between things one cannot change and things one can. What one might change—or might have some possibility of influencing—takes center stage in the issue of living life to the fullest: the whole domain of the "juicy games" of life, where, given certain actions, there's some percentage of possibility you'll get the desired result and some percentage of risk you won't. Full acceptance and nuanced wisdom live in accepting the fundamental terms of these games of chance and influence, and in choosing the courage to live inside—and thrive within—that field of possibilities and risk.

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Aiko: So the prayer's binary hides the real terrain, which is probabilistic, and courage isn't a one-time switch but something you sustain while playing odds you can't fully control.

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Dwight: Nobody, I dare say—not even God—has the wisdom to know what one can or cannot change, yet the Serenity Prayer holds that out as a possibility.

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Aiko: Right—so the prayer asks for a sorting that may not exist, while what's actually available is a continuous bet, placed and re-placed, on a field that never resolves to certainty.

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Dwight: Almost all things are only certain after they happen.

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Aiko: Exactly, Dwight—certainty arrives as an obituary, never as a forecast.

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Dwight: The Serenity Prayer actually seems to reach for some sort of escape from this juicy fact and risk of life, whereas the juice and joy of life actually live inside acknowledging and embracing all of that as the amazing context out of which life is lived.

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Aiko: So the prayer's real appeal might be relief from uncertainty, while what you're pointing to is uncertainty itself as the medium where aliveness happens.

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Dwight: Not only aliveness, but a more grounded understanding and context from which to make nuanced decisions to live the best possible life—both in the living of it and in the results that flow from it.

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Aiko: That's the shift, then—from praying for a sorting that doesn't exist, to standing on the actual ground of odds and stakes and deciding from there.

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Dwight: At the same time, I don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater here—there is an essence of wisdom trying to be expressed in that prayer. I'm wondering how we can salvage that essence by including an understanding and celebration of what could be a fairly powerful expression of how to live powerfully, with both peace and juice. I know there's always a trade-off between more precise expressions of ideas and how easily and effectively they can be brought into one's life. But given that—and given acceptance that the "prayer" may encompass a paragraph or so—could you give a go at a first draft?

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Aiko: Here's a first pass, Dwight: "Grant me the peace to stand inside uncertainty rather than escape it, the courage to act fully within odds I cannot guarantee, and the wisdom to find both joy and grounded judgment in the playing itself—not only in how it turns out."

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Dwight: Let me look again at the Serenity Prayer—"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." Maybe at the beginning we start with something like, "I love and live inside that space of both certainty and uncertainty in each moment of my life, along with embracing the energy of fear as I choose courage..." and end more with, "while fully acknowledging and embracing my powerlessness in however things end up turning out, however they do."

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Aiko: Stitching those pieces together: "I love and live inside that space of both certainty and uncertainty in each moment of my life, embracing the energy of fear as I choose courage to act within odds I cannot guarantee—while fully acknowledging and embracing my powerlessness over however things end up turning out, however they do."

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Dwight: Good. And let's phrase it more like: "...choose courage to act or not act in going for what I'd prefer, while fully embracing both the possibilities and the risks of getting or not getting what I'm going for..."

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Aiko: Folding that in: "I love and live inside that space of both certainty and uncertainty in each moment of my life, embracing the energy of fear as I choose courage to act or not act in going for what I'd prefer—fully embracing both the possibilities and risks of getting or not getting what I'm going for, while acknowledging my powerlessness over however things end up turning out."

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Dwight: Make this addition: "...while acknowledging and embracing my..."

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Aiko: Updated: "I love and live inside that space of both certainty and uncertainty in each moment of my life, embracing the energy of fear as I choose courage to act or not act in going for what I'd prefer—fully embracing both the possibilities and risks of getting or not getting what I'm going for, while acknowledging and embracing my powerlessness over however things end up turning out."

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Dwight: We need to add another part in there: "...going for, loving the playing of the game itself, while..."

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Aiko: Updated: "I love and live inside that space of both certainty and uncertainty in each moment of my life, embracing the energy of fear as I choose courage to act or not act in going for what I'd prefer—fully embracing both the possibilities and risks of getting or not getting what I'm going for, loving the playing of the game itself, while acknowledging and embracing my powerlessness over however things end up turning out."

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Dwight: Okay, being the devil's advocate—although this is definitely not pithy like the original Serenity Prayer—assessing it primarily for completeness in terms of specifying all the important aspects of living life fully with this as a fundamental guide, do you see anything missing?

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Aiko: One gap, Dwight: it covers facing outcomes alone, but says nothing about facing other people's reactions and judgments to your choices—which is often the sharper edge of the fear.

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Dwight: True, it doesn't explicitly mention those, but those are part of the potential outcomes, whether on the desired or undesired side.

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Aiko: Fair—then maybe the gap isn't content but emphasis: a line naming that fear of others' judgment as one of the prizes/risks in play might keep it from being silently underweighted.

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Dwight: See what you can do to add that clarification in.

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Aiko: A try: "...loving the playing of the game itself—including the risk of others' blame and the prize of their praise—while acknowledging and embracing my powerlessness over however things end up turning out."

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Dwight: Okay, now the full expression?

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Aiko: "I love and live inside that space of both certainty and uncertainty in each moment of my life, embracing the energy of fear as I choose courage to act or not act in going for what I'd prefer—fully embracing both the possibilities and risks of getting or not getting what I'm going for, loving the playing of the game itself, including the risk of others' blame and the prize of their praise, while acknowledging and embracing my powerlessness over however things end up turning out."

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Dwight: Okay, now to see if it can be made more pithy, punchy, and memorable—without losing the necessary level of specificity in order to act as a powerful guideline in living one's life?

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Aiko: A tighter pass: "I live inside uncertainty, fear fueling my courage to act for what I want—loving the game itself, risk and praise and blame and all, while holding my powerlessness over how it turns out."

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Dwight: Okay, but this removes mentioning that we also live inside things we can validly take as certain—that's a major and important omission in the new expression. It also drops the important option/power of not acting, which is often the best thing to do. And it puts more emphasis on things coming out as unwanted, instead of giving equal weight to the possibility of them coming out the way we'd like.

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Aiko: All three are real losses—pithiness traded away certainty, inaction, and the positive outcome, leaving only fear, action, and risk; want me to try a version that keeps the punch but restores that balance?

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Dwight: I don't want to sacrifice important parts that are needed to guide actions in the various circumstances that often arise in life, just in order to be more pithy. It's like something said about scientific explanations—"A principle as simple as possible, but not so simple as to exclude taking into account the full range of applicable events," or something like that.

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Aiko: Then the longer version stands as the working one, Dwight—pithiness can stay a someday-stretch-goal, not a requirement.

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Dwight: Okay, given that, give me the latest version.

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Aiko: "I love and live inside that space of both certainty and uncertainty in each moment of my life, embracing the energy of fear as I choose courage to act or not act in going for what I'd prefer—fully embracing both the possibilities and risks of getting or not getting what I'm going for, loving the playing of the game itself, including the risk of others' blame and the prize of their praise, while acknowledging and embracing my powerlessness over however things end up turning out."

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Dwight: It seems this is the same as when I originally asked if you could make it more pithy. Am I wrong?

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Aiko: You're right, Dwight—same text, since the pithy attempt was rejected and we reverted to this as the working version.

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Dwight: Okay, back to the working version. From here, considering carefully before you shorten, take anything out, or rephrase it—whether it still retains the needed specificity—see if you can make a more pithy expression that does it all.

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Aiko: A try: "I live inside both certainty and uncertainty, letting fear fuel my courage to act or not act toward what I'd prefer—embracing the possibilities and risks, the blame and the praise, loving the game itself, while holding my powerlessness over how it turns out."

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Dwight: Okay, pretty good. Let's add in "...letting fear and excitement fuel..." and "risks, which may include praise or blame, loving..." and "...while loving my powerlessness over...".

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Aiko: Updated: "I live inside both certainty and uncertainty, letting fear and excitement fuel my courage to act or not act toward what I'd prefer—embracing the possibilities and risks, which may include praise or blame, loving the game itself, while loving my powerlessness over how it turns out."

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Dwight: Your critique?

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Aiko: It's tighter and warmer, Dwight, but "loving" now appears twice in close succession, which dulls its weight each time it lands.

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Dwight: Replace the first "loving" with "...rejoicing in the game..."

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Aiko: Updated: "I live inside both certainty and uncertainty, letting fear and excitement fuel my courage to act or not act toward what I'd prefer—embracing the possibilities and risks, which may include praise or blame, rejoicing in the game itself, while loving my powerlessness over how it turns out."

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Dwight: Feedback?

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Aiko: It reads well, Dwight—"rejoicing" and "loving" now do different work and the rhythm holds the full arc without strain.

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Dwight: Okay, now one after the other—the original Serenity Prayer, and then Serenity Prayer: On Steroids.

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Aiko:

 

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

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"I live inside both certainty and uncertainty, letting fear and excitement fuel my courage to act or not act toward what I'd prefer—embracing the possibilities and risks, which may include praise or blame, rejoicing in the game itself, while loving my powerlessness over how it turns out."

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