How a woman turned my "no" into a "yes"
As a university student, she asked me to edit an English paper
In general, editing English papers is not something I enjoy doing. I said to her, "A part of me would like to please you by saying 'yes.' However, I don't know how I could enjoy the process of doing that for you. This is the sort of thing I normally would only do for my girlfriend...and it seems you're not my girlfriend," I joked.
Undeterred, she listened to what I said, and made a new request
"Let me treat you to lunch at a place you prefer near your home. We can just chat and you can look over my paper and make a few verbal suggestions as they occur for you. How would you feel about that?"
She nailed it.
I accepted, we enjoyed lunch together and I gave her some quick feedback on her paper that she thought was quite helpful. She found a way to dovetail her needs with my needs (to enjoy the process of whatever I do).
Creating the attitude and ability to create mutually selfish relationships
Without this ability, relationships become either hard or non-existent.
Check out the OOI tookit.