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How I got myself to ask

a beautiful woman for her number

Mystery question: as you read this story, 

guess the life principles that are expressed. My answers are at the end.

Starting a fresh life

In 1998, I found myself newly single and relocated to the Scottsdale Princess Resort in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Asking a stranger an adventure question

As I wandered around a Ross Dress for Less store, I stumbled upon a fellow shopper and decided to engage in my usual spontaneous spirit of adventure. "Pardon me," I said, "I've just arrived in town. Might you know which grocery store reigns supreme for my shopping needs: Albertsons or Fry's?"

The most stunning woman I had met in years

She recommended Albertsons, and I expressed my gratitude before bidding her farewell. Over the next ten minutes, my nerves escalated, and my heart raced faster and faster. She was absolutely stunning, and her beauty was unmatched by anyone I had met in years. I couldn't stop thinking to myself, "You can't let this chance slip away, go back and ask for her number." She was exactly my type, and I knew I had to take a shot at it.

"But what is she rejects me"

I found myself in a mental tug-of-war. The idea of approaching her for her phone number was so exciting, but I felt a strong resistance. The pressure from both sides of my psyche only escalated as time passed. I knew exactly why I was hesitant - the fear of rejection from such a stunning woman was paralyzing. My reluctance persisted for a solid ten minutes, the anxiety showing no signs of easing up. 

Making friends with the fear

In a moment of realization, I recognized that I had not considered the undoing fear process. I knew I could take the first step of choosing courage, even if I didn't end up asking for her number. Since I was in a public place and didn't want to scream out loud, I took a few deep breaths and whispered to myself, "Holy moly and jeepers weepers, I'm so scared to ask for her number." I repeated this eleven times continuing to breathe deep into my belly.

I got more energy and confidence...action!

To my surprise, even though I still felt frightened, I noticed that the fear was passing through me and I began to feel more confident. Although I gave myself permission to let it go, now I was willing to ask her for her number. I quickly scanned the store to find the woman and ask for her phone number.

Underlying principles that guided my actions


Step by step, the five-minute trial, and good enough

Sometimes we can feel overwhelmed or frightened when we set unrealistic expectations for ourselves. It's important to remember that our current self may be more receptive to taking action if we only ask for one small step at a time. It's also easy to forget that settling for "good enough" can be better than striving for perfection. Most importantly, we must prioritize choosing courage over building confidence. Confidence will naturally follow when we take action with courage.

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