A temporary compromise

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NNI (now-next integrity) is all about your Now and your Next being able to get and stay on the same page. Sometimes getting into partnership can be a compromise, especially for Next since he or she has a tendency to discount Now’s feelings.

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Negotiating to get past Now's reluctance

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Consider a circumstance where Next wants to do some accounting on your computer, but Now is resistant to starting. Yet, Next knows that, if you started, there’s a good chance that Now will get into the process. The issue is about getting started.

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"Let's just try it for five minutes"

 

This is where the "Five-Minute Trial" may work. Suppose that Next proposes to Now, “Let’s just start on the accounting. Let's do it for five minutes. If, after five minutes, you want to stop, I’ll agree, I'll understand, and I won’t blame you. Okay?”

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Your Next shows respect to your Now

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Yes, Next is taking a risk here. And he or she must be willing to stop after five minutes if Now hasn’t gotten into the process within that time period. By the way, this period of “five minutes” is a negotiation point between Next and Now. The trial period could be more time or less time, as long as both are agreeable.

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Now is your three-year old child within

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In working to get Next and Now on the same page, it’s helpful to think of your Now as a three-year-old child, a child that will always be very much a part of you. If some task occurs as unwanted to Now, he or she can often be open to a short-term, provisional agreement, like five minutes.

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The "Five-Minute Trial" can be used in many circumstances

 

Many circumstances might take advantage of this approach:

• Next wants to exercise, but Now is resistant to start.

• Next wants to organize the office, but Now is reluctant to step into that.

• Next wants to check some profiles on a dating site, but Now doesn’t feel like it.

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A default agreement can make things easier

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Typically, when my alarm goes off each morning, if Dwight-Now didn't have a prior understanding with Dwight-Next, he would prefer to lie in bed indefinitely. However, Dwight-Now has a general agreement with Dwight-Next that we will get up immediately upon waking. Predictably, once we're up, then within five minutes, Dwight-Now is happy to be greeting the new day. Uncommonly, if Dwight-Now still wants to get back into bed after five, then Dwight-Next, as part of their general agreement, concurs and we crawl back into bed. 

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What Now wants can be wiser than what Next wants (as it would be in this case)

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If my Now does want to go back to sleep after being out of bed for five minutes, it's probably the best thing for my Next also. This is because I really do need more sleep and that's going to be good for Next's ability to get what he wants to get done later (and for my general health also).

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See How your Now can be wiser than your Next.

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How a lawyer client used the "Five-Minute Trial" approach

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My longest running client was a successful medical malpractice lawyer who lived in Arizona. We worked together for nine years. He had a standard promise to himself for each workday: "Each morning that I'm in the office, I will spend a minimum of 30 minutes on the case that is giving me the most anxiety." His Now was unwilling to promise more than 30 minutes and his Next knew that he couldn't get much done in 30 minutes. But his Next also knew that, within thirty minutes of starting, his Now would probably be willing to keep going. 

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Keep this great partnership tool in mind whenever you have an NNI issue!