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The side-back position

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After discovering these sex positions for myself and my lover, I thought,

“This must have been discovered before!” But, after extensive research, I’ve been unable to find any evidence that these fantastic positions have been invented before...or at least shared very widely.

The side-back and X positions

Before I describe the "how to" for what I call the “side-back and X positions,” let me tell you about the advantages they provide for both the man and the woman.


Advantages for the man


  • He relaxes on his left side if right-handed (reverse all references to left and right below, if the man is left-handed). It's a comfortable position he can maintain indefinitely. He also needs to have no concern about putting too much weight on his lover, which is often an issue with the man-on-top position.

  • He can easily move in and out of the women as slowly and gently or as quickly and roughly as he or his lover want. He can more easily control when he does nor doesn’t have an orgasm. This position also allows for the man to comfortably remain inside his lover even without movement.

  • His right arm, hand, and fingers are free to conveniently touch and fondle his lover’s face, breasts, or clitoris…or any other front part of her body. He can give her maximum pleasure by combining clitoral stimulations with his right fingers, I mostly use my middle finger, at the same time he is thrusting in and out of her.

  • Only about 25% of women enjoy orgasms from regular intercourse. With this position, either the man or woman can use their fingers to stimulate her clitoris to achieve additional pleasures or orgasms at the same time that the man is thrusting inside the woman.

  • Face-to-face intimacy is very easy, with his lover turning her head to her right, looking into each other’s eyes, they can connect soul-to-soul as they make love.

  • With a little flexibility, with the man using his right hand to pull his lover’s neck and head towards his, they can kiss while still enjoying intercourse.

  • Depending upon his lover’s flexibility, her right leg can be elevated to facilitate deeper and more vigorous entry. If she’s into yoga, he might even be able to position her right leg up over his head to rest on his left shoulder, providing the deepest access of all.

  • This position allows for the easiest entry of his lingum, the Sanskrit word for “wand of light," into his lover’s yoni, the Sanskrit word for “sacred box," even when his lingum is not that hard. If necessary, he can conveniently insert his semi-hard lingum into her yoni with the help of his right hand. His lingum can also remain inside the yoni more easily than any other position can afford. (I learned the words lingum and yoni in a tantra yoga retreat in Maui, Hawaii which was lead by Charlies Muir.)


Advantages for the woman


  • Every advantage for the man (listed above) translates into an advantage to the woman. Every one of these could just as easily be described as an advantage to the woman.

  • In addition, for some women, the weight of a man on her when they're in the missionary position is uncomfortable. This position eliminates that.

The side-back position illustrated in the drawing above


  • The woman lies on her back.

  • The man lies on his left side to the right of his lover. If the man is left-handed, these will be reversed.

  • The man’s left arm cradles underneath the neck of his woman. The woman turns her head to the right so that she is face-to-face with her man. This is just an option for the woman.

  • The man moves his hips and groin underneath the right leg of the woman, such that the woman’s right leg forms somewhat of a triangle with her right knee as the apex, with her right leg hooked or draped over the right-side waist of the man. The lower portion of the man’s left leg lies flat on the bed with the woman’s left leg lying over the top of it. The lower portion of the man’s right leg lies over the woman’s left leg, a bit further across from where his left leg lies under her left leg. See the artist’s depiction for reference.

  • From this position, the man can easily enter the woman.

  • The man can use his right hand to fondle or caress almost any part of the front part of his lover’s body, from the face to the clitoris.

The X position 

  • Start with visualizing the side-back position. The woman does not change her orientation.

  • The man adjusts his torso so that, instead of being almost parallel to the woman's torso, it is perpendicular to hers. Also, his legs stretch out onto the other side of the woman so that they are more perpendicular to her body. The orientation of their bodies makes an "X." 

  • The X position provides a bit more comfort and relaxing for the man than does the side-back position. It also allows the man to more easily enter into the woman and to thrust extra deep and hard.

  • Although more comfortable for the man, he and his lover cannot kiss from this position. Their faces will be further apart than in the side-back position. The man may be more limited in touching some upper parts of the woman's body with his right hand.