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The Big Missing How

"How" is most important

Knowing how to do things is our most essential knowledge. Our ability to learn more and more "hows" by ourselves and through others expresses all the abilities that distinguish us from other animals.

  • How to grow a tomato

  • How to read

  • How to write

  • How to push a button in an elevator

  • How to use a telephone

  • How to speak and listen

  • How to make requests

  • How to set a broken bone

  • How to drive a car...

The BIG missing "how"

The list of all the things we have learned to do is incredible. But there's a big how that's been missing. That missing how has been a colossal stumbling block in our ability to implement other important "hows." And what's rather amazing is that we haven't (explicitly) been noticing that missing how as missing.

That missing how is


"How to enjoy the process of doing the other 'hows'?"

Keeping fit

Thousands of books and even more fitness coaches will tell you how to exercise to keep fit. But, when it comes to "how to be consistent in doing what they tell you to do," the best advice they can give you, if at all, is to "want the results enough" or "you just have to accept that sometimes it will be hard." Being able and willing to tolerate the process becomes a virtue. For most of us these hows are grossly insufficient. This is a big missing how.

Eating for health

Thousands of books and even more nutritionists, and even some doctors, will tell you better ways to eat for health and vitality. But again, their best advice on how to ensure consistency in those actions is dismally inadequate. Another big missing how.

Building character

So much advice and wisdom from parents, teachers, ministers, mentors on the importance of delayed gratification, persistence, having patience, and avoiding procrastination. But little useful knowledge is proffered on how to consistently follow this advice. If you look closely, almost all their bottom-line "advice" is "no pain, no gain." Another big missing how.

Loving our learning

Parents and teachers think education is so important. Even governments make attending schools mandatory, often until the "child" is at least 16. But how much of that effort is focused on children knowing how to love the process of learning? It seems that we mostly rely on force and social pressure to "make" the children learn. The "how" of loving the process of learning is largely a missing how.

Loving our work

We know that our career and our job are important. But how many of us are skilled in knowing how to love whatever we end up doing, hour by hour and day by day? Surveys show that between 50% or as high as 85% of all Americans are not happy in their jobs. From what I can tell, those percentages are even higher in China. Another big missing how.

How to have great relationships with others

How to have great relationships with family members. With spouses. With lovers. With bosses and employees. With friends. With colleagues. Yes, there are a lot of books and even teachers on how to create and maintain good relationships. Again, what's missing is how to enjoy the ongoing process of creating and maintaining those great relationships.

The final and most important piece of the puzzle

AskDwightHow is now the go-to resource for providing the how that has been the BIG missing. More specifically, the NNI toolkit, along with the OOI toolkit, zeros in on a comprehensive toolset for how to enjoy the processes that are needed in order to get the results, which can come from all the other "hows" we want in our lives. 

Not why, what, where, or when

That's why this site is AskDwightHOW.

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