Now and Next need each other

Next is a pain in the ass

From Now's point of view, it can often seem as if Next is a pain in the ass. "We should do this. We should do that. Why are you so lazy?! You promised you would exercise! You promised you would eat better! We should be making something more of our life!"

Now fantasizes, "If only Next would shut up and it were possible to just feel free and do whatever I please, life would be so great."

 

Now is an irresponsible, spoiled child

 

From Next's point of view, it can often seem as if Now is an irresponsible, spoiled, indulgent child. "I don't feel like it. Playing with my mobile phone is more interesting than cleaning up the house. Let me just sleep a few more minutes. I know I promised, but I don't want to. I'll start my diet tomorrow. I'll have another drink. I don't care how much you blame me, I'm going to do what I feel like doing."

​Next can think, "If Now would just do what I know she should do, life would be great and we could be very successful."

Life goes better together

Two major reasons make life much better with Now/Next alignment and integrity.

 

First, Now/Next alignment will give us happiness now. In a given circumstance (for example, whether to exercise or not right now), if Next gets his way at the expense of what Now wants, then Now is tolerating and we're unhappy. Conversely, if Now gets his way at the expense of what Next wants, then we're likely to feel guilty and not think the best of ourselves.

 

Secondly, with Now/Next cooperation we're also likely to have a better future (and feel happier in the future). If Next dominates one's life, it becomes problematic to be consistent in one's actions long-term...because Now is not on board. Not only is Next likely to over promise, not taking care of herself short-range, it's going to be quite difficult to persist and be patient. With Now being satisfied in the process and the dance of the journey, it's a piece of cake for Next to avoid procrastination, keep agreements, and stay with something for the long haul. On the other hand, to the extent that Now is indulgent at the expense of what Next needs, then future problems quickly arise: being out-of-shape, having low energy, getting sick, fucked-up plans and promises, and creating bad relationships.

 

 

Now/Next integrity allows the full job to get done

 

Happiness (see full definition/description) is life's purpose for each and every one of us. To continuously fulfill on this purpose, we need the alignment and cooperation of both Now and Next. They both have the same intention (creating and maintaining happiness): they're just responsible (at any given time) for two different time spans. Now's job is to be happy now (and the near now). Next's job is for us to be happy in our future. 

 

 

A new fundamental life attitude and habit

 

We have all learned from our families, organizations and cultures to view Now and Next as enemies, with Now most often the "bad guy" and Next the "good guy." Our lack of Now/Next integrity accounts for at least 80% of suffering and problems (the other 20% is from our lack of Oneself/Others integrity).

 

Let's end the Now/Next Wars. Let's establish a new attitude and a new set of habits that create and maintain Now and Next as mutually supportive. This new integrity generates a life of ease, happiness, fulfillment, accomplishment, and awesome relationships with others.

 

PS. for those of us who are more motivated to move away from the bad things (instead of moving towards the good things), this integrity will foster a life that avoids suffering, life feeling hard, frustration, ennui, and messed-up relationships.

COPYRIGHT 2018-2020 BY DWIGHT GOLDWINDE