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Damages caused when Now dominates Next
in the Now-Next family feud

Let's detail the damages inflicted, both on ourselves and on others, when Now dominates Next 

The fallout of these unresolved and recurring family fights devastates the quality of our lives. When your Next and your Now are fighting each other, no matter which side “wins,” at least one side loses (in other words, you lose).


Often it’s difficult to distinguish whether it is the domination of Next or the indulgence of Now that causes some particular damage. Although we always blame Now for the conflict: "If only I did what I should do, if I did the right thing, then everything would be fine." Accurately expressed, we are really saying to ourselves, “If only Now would do what Next knows is best, then everything would be fine." However, when Now gets the upper hand consistently in one or more areas of our lives (like an army being able to occupy one or more cities), then we will typically notice several of the following:

Damages caused when Now dominates Next

  • Cynicism

  • Depression

  • Guilt (caused by Next blaming Now)

  • Lack of confidence

  • Lack of self-esteem and self-respect

  • Indecisiveness

  • Procrastination

  • Low energy

  • Lack of follow-through and persistence

  • Laziness

  • Insisting on feeling safe

  • Lack of a sense of purpose and meaning

  • No sense of an exciting or good future; no interest in taking action for an interesting tomorrow

  • Binging and indulgence in TV, shopping, computer games, eating, sleeping, drugs, and in being a couch potato

  • Gambling away money better saved or spent on other things

  • Body and mind degrading or falling apart from eating poorly (which is standard fare for over 95% of people, especially in the United States), alcohol, drugs, smoking, and/or no exercise

  • All bad lifestyle diseases:  arteriosclerosis, cancer, chronic liver disease/cirrhosis, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, nephritis/CRF, and stroke

  • Unprotected sex, resulting in disease and/or unwanted pregnancies

  • Indulgence becoming less and less enjoyable, yet still addictive

  • Not keeping agreements with yourself and others

  • Losing the respect from others; damaging your relationship with others

  • Anxiety and worry about your future

  • Degrading any foundation to build your life upon

  • Missing the good feeling of contributing to others

  • Lying (thinking only short-range and not considering the likelihood of long term costs)

  • No buffer


Of course, Now is just trying to feel good now and avoid feeling bad now. However, in his or her fighting and rebellion with Next, the results are that, over time, Now is progressively less able to feel good now.

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