AskDwightHow.org 365/24/7
"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
14m 24s
We'll get your problem solved one way or the other. Open this door
"Don't you think I'm great?!
I love creating these images for you."
Do you believe in
"Not really..."
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Most of us modern folk are likely to respond like this. But, if we drill down to what sacrifice means and what it might look like if we were operating out of a belief in self sacrifice, what might we find?
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Take this fun three-minute quiz. Then we'll have more concrete information how much you may still believe in self-sacrifice. After taking the quiz, we'll continue this exploration.
"How do the questions I just answered have anything to do with self sacrifice?"
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We've been taught the concept of self-sacrifice in two interrelated domains. The most obvious is the teaching that sacrificing our selfish interests for others is the right thing to do. The second is the idea that we should sacrifice immediate comfort and pleasure to take actions that will benefit our future.
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These teachings on the virtue of sacrifice, when believed, internalized, and practiced, create an ongoing internal conflict that often spills into our relationships with others.
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If you scored between 95-100% on the above quiz, then you have either somehow not internalized these teachings or you've been able to un-believe them. To the extent that your score is below 95% reflects the degree to which the machinery of your mind is still operating inside the belief paradigm of self sacrifice.
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Let's look at a few of these issues to see how they arise because of an internalized belief in self sacrifice.
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(1) If you think you are "lazy" or get "distracted" you are criticizing yourself for indulging in feeling more comfortable at the expense of your future.
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(2) If you often worry about others blaming or disapproving of you, you may be preemptively blaming yourself for not meeting their expectations or serving their interests.
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(6) If you're often feeling pressured or overwhelmed, it's because you've prioritized getting things done for the future and/or performing up to others' expectations at the expense of designing and living your life so that you can enjoy the journey now and now and now.
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(9) If you're getting defensive with others or thinking that life is unfair, this is likely because, having bought into the idea that you should be sacrificing to others or to the future, whether yours or others', you haven't set your life up with non-defensive boundaries to take care of yourself with others (your #1 job) and to create a life approach that takes care of both now and your future.
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(10) If you're often indecisive, it may be because you're seeking an option without any risk or cost—a choice that doesn't exist. This indecisiveness, and the discomfort it causes, stems from a conflict between the part of you seeking immediate comfort and the part urging action for the future, which blames you for wanting to feel safe.
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(21) If you're being perfectionistic, you're trying to ensure that others won't blame for you for whatever you're not being "good enough" about, which you've deemed more important than you knowing that it's good enough for you.
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