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Do you believe in

"Not really..."

Most of us modern folk are likely to respond like this. But, if we drill down to what sacrifice means and what it might look like if we were operating out of a belief in self sacrifice, what might we find?

Take this fun three-minute quiz. Then we'll have more concrete information how much you may still believe in self-sacrifice. After taking the quiz, we'll continue this exploration.

"How do the questions I just answered have anything to do with self sacrifice?"

We've been taught self sacrifice in two interrelated domains. The most obvious one is where we've been told that sacrificing our own selfish interests for others is the right thing to do. The second is where we've been taught that we should sacrifice feeling good now and avoiding discomfort now in service to taking actions that will serve our future. 

These teachings on the honorability of sacrifice, to the extent that they are believed, internalized, and practiced, sets up an internal civil war (spilling out into our relationships with others) that is never ending. 

If you scored between 95-100% on the above quiz, then you have either somehow not internalized these teachings or you've been able to un-believe them. To the extent that your score is below 95% reflects the degree to which the machinery of your mind is still operating inside the belief paradigm of self sacrifice.

Let's look at a few of these issues to see how they arise because of an internalized belief in self sacrifice.

(1) If you think you are "lazy" or get "distracted" you are criticizing yourself for indulging in feeling more comfortable at the expense of your future.

(2) If you're often concerned that others may blame you or not approve of you, you are preemptively blaming yourself if you think you have not met the standards of what others may expect of you to serve their interests or desires.

(6) If you're often feeling pressured or overwhelmed, it's because you've prioritized getting things done for the future and/or performing up to others' expectations at the expense of designing and living your life so that you can enjoy the journey now and now and now.

(9) If you're getting defensive with others or thinking that life is unfair, this is likely because, having bought into the idea that you should be sacrificing to others or to the future, whether yours or others', you haven't set your life up with non-defensive boundaries to take care of yourself with others (your #1 job) and to create a life approach that takes care of both now and your future.

(10) If you're often indecisive, it's likely because you're looking for an option that has no sense of risk or cost, which does not exist. Your indecisiveness and feeling bad about it is an attempt to feel safer by not making a decision, which is brought on by the conflict between the part of you that wants to feel comfortable now by not feeling the fear and the part that is urging you to take action for your future which blames you for wanting to feel safe.

(21) If you're being perfectionistic, you're trying to ensure that others won't blame for you for whatever you're not being "good enough" about, which you've deemed more important than you knowing that it's good enough for you.

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