Are you being foolhardy by not indulging in some foolishness?

 

We normally think of foolishness as something to avoid. But a certain type of foolishness can invigorate us,

can stretch our courage muscles, especially if we embrace the fact that we might appear foolish to others.

 

In most cases, our dislike of appearing foolish is simply a fear that someone might judge us as foolish or think we're weird or immature.

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Foolishly saying "hello" to strangers

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As I was walking down the sidewalk near my apartment when I lived in China, I began smiling at every person who was I passing from the opposite direction and saying “Nihao” (“hello” in Chinese).

 

My intention in saying “Nihao” was to give them a feeling of a fresh connection to life and people. About 30% smiled and said “Nihao” back. But the others just blankly looked at me or ignored me altogether,

as they might a beggar asking for money.

 

When this happened, my automatic thoughts and feelings were, “Oh, I’m looking foolish!” I then took a deep breath to move the fear through me, and honored myself for choosing the courage to feel the fear of looking foolish.

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Foolishness with the beggars

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When I was visiting Mumbai, India, children would often ask me for money. I didn't want to ignore them but I also didn't want to give them money. Finally foolishness came to the rescue. 

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When a child would ask me for money, I screwed up my face with a crazy, foolish, friendly, silly smile, jumping around a bit. Almost instantly, the kid would forget about begging and begin smiling and laughing.

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I tried this out with a few adult beggars but hit an impasse in my being able to shift their life-is-serious-shit attitude, even for a moment.

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Foolishness with the serious young people

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I led a two-hour class on Sunday afternoon for several years in Kunming, China. Most of the students who attended were early twenties and into their low thirties. Near the end of the class, I would often bring up the value of being willing to look foolish. To dramatize the point, I would get down on the floor on all fours and move around the room, playfully bumping up against the participants' legs.

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I would invite them to come down on the floor with me, but rarely did anyone join me. When I asked them afterwards about their reluctance to crawl around on the floor with me, they admitted that they were frightened of appearing foolish.

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How old are you?

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People often ask my age. I tell them the truth. "I am three-years old. And I am pretending to be 79." I used to disown and deny my real age (the child within me) even to myself. I was trying to be "mature" and "succeed" in life. Life was hard for me. But then I discovered that was really three years old and always had been. Once I did that, my life was free and easy. 

 

Yes, because I am successful at pretending to others that I am older than three, I can play much more interesting games than those that were available to me when I was chronologically three years old. But if I started to forget that I was only three, these "much more interesting games" would feel like a serious burden. 

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