top of page

He's never behind on things

Not many years ago he was beleaguered by "behindedness"

Actually, I'm talking about myself. Only in the last few years did "never feeling behind" become true for me. Before that I was constantly beleaguered by thoughts of,


  • "When am I ever going to get to that book I want to read?"

  • "This item has been on my to-do list forever and I keep pushing it forward...maybe someday soon I can get to it, I hope."

  • "I know there are some emails from a while ago I haven't responded to, but when am I going to have time?"

  • "When am I ever going to get to updating that client document?"

  • "I know my friend must think I've disappeared, but...."

  • "I need to organize the stuff in the corner of this exercise room, but when will I ever have time?!"

So what happened. Actually, even before a few years ago, I had already changed a lot of things that helped some (but only some). I had learned to under promise and schedule buffer in my day. I became more careful about what I would promise to do, both to myself and to others. I became better at canceling agreements, if I needed to.

What was missing?

I had to get the context of my life right. Yes, it's nice to accomplish things. It's even important. It's good to get things done. But what I hadn't fully gotten was that "getting things done" has to remain in the passenger's seat, not the driver's seat. "Getting things done" had not been fully removed from the driver's seat of my life. 

Life is an unending buffet of possible things to do, to fix, to experience, to learn, and to accomplish. Not to mention the millions or even billions of possible people we could communicate with, be friends with, get intimate with, support, get help from, contribute to. Given all the amazing options to choose from, it would be easy to feel even more behind of things than we already do.

Except perhaps for a young boy upon encountering his first buffet, most of us have learned not to try to eat some of every dish available from a selection of over a hundred dishes. What we do instead is, "Wow, what an amazing selection to choose from! Let me choose just the right dishes and just the right amount of each one to likely give me the most scrumptious dining experience (and avoid an overstuffed stomach or ache).

That's how I've learned to approach all of the uncountable things-I-could-do life options, available to me (and to everyone). Lifestyle first, results second

Lifestyle and process first, results second

Before I shifted this fully for myself, every time I went into my exercise room to jump on my rebounder, my eyes would unavoidably notice a corner of the room where there were a jumble of items I wanted to sort through. The machinery of my mind would present me with the nagging thought, "I really would like to go through that, but I don't know when it will ever becomes a priority...and there are so many other things to do...."

Today, when I notice that same jumble of items in the corner of the room, the machinery of my mind presents me instead with the pleasing thought, "I'm happy that, if for whatever reasons I might 'run out of things to do' or 'I just decide to enjoy sorting through that jumble above everything else,' then it will be waiting for me. I am blessed. And if I never do it, I will derive continuing pleasure from knowing it's always available to me as part of my buffet of life options."

If the machinery of your mind is still prioritizing results before process, apply kickstarting a mental habit to re-program your machinery, using one or more of these questions,


"Is my Now happy with the process of doing whatever I am doing now?"

"Am I prioritizing enjoying the process over getting any particular result?"

"Am I structuring my weeks and my days so that I experience the activities I am engaging in as the ones I have chosen from out of all those available to me in the unending buffet of options?"

Leave "behindedness" behind. Join me in knowing that feeling of freedom when you never need to "get more done." Instead you can rejoice in the unending buffet of life that's always available to you to taste and drink from!

0revised 20201222.jpg
bottom of page