Imp-Boy wants to apologize to all the slow listeners in the world and hopes the following transript (errors not corrected) will be accepted as recompense

for his sin of not thinking first

about you slow listeners.

For he has sinned again. He feels so bad!​

 

Imp-Boy Annouces World-Wide Contest for "Best Aplogogizers For Reality." Maybe YOU can win! 

I'm so glad you all have joined us today for my special worldwide announcement of the contest that I'm hosting that I'm starting uh uh to determine who in the world is the most accomplished uh person who knows how to apologize for reality because it's only recently I've discovered how important of us to how important it is for us to do this right.

 

Imp-Boy wants to show empathy to others by supporting their world-view of apology making

You know, cuz I've just noticed everybody's apologizing for reality all over the place. Uh it's amazing to me. I'm not sure why they want to do that and they seem a little bit defensive or sad about it, but obviously uh I felt it everywhere. I'll show you the first time I really noticed it was amazing, you know.

 

Airline hostess is the first to help Imp-Boy notice a very important way to understand humanity

Uh I was uh coming back from Bangkok, you know, a little bit slow getting on the plane. I got my luggage there and coming back and you know, I'm the last one on and you know how those full planes they have all the luggage, you know, racks almost full and so I'm going back and my seats up front. I'm going try to find a place for my luggage, you know, and there's this very nice stewardist. What the airlines at? Some airline anyway. Very nice stewardist. And she did such an amazing apology. She said, "I'm so sorry we don't have this sluggish space on the plane."

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Imp-Boy likes to show how much he appreciates excellence in others

That sounded like a good thing to me. You know, it shows the airline successful but evidently I said to her, "Wow, so amazing how well you apologized for that." She smiled, but I'm not sure she quite got what how amazing that was, you know. So, I sort of shut up and I thought maybe that's enough, you know. I could have gone on and on about, sometime there is a limit to how much truth people want to hear.

 

Now that Imp-Boy eyes are open, he's discovering the importance of apologing for reality

But anyway, I started to notice it everywhere. You know, people apologizing and saying, "Oh, reality should not be this way or reality should not be that way." Or or they're even blaming other people for the reality that they are. They're blaming themselves for they even blame themselves for the reality that they are. I'm caught. Wow. and they don't feel so happy about it. Maybe they feel pretty bit angry with blaming other people. Yeah. But blaming yourself.

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And it seems to be especially important to apologize well for the realities of their own past behaviors

God. But just the other day, somebody was late for an appointment with me and they said, "I apologize for being late." So I asked them, "Well, do you believe in reality?" They said, "Yeah." Do you really believe reality is just the way it is? I mean, is it is have you ever seen reality not be the way it is? Yeah. So, are you part of reality? And were you late? Yeah. But you just apologize for the reality that you were that was late. Oh my god. I mean, I'm realizing how important this is.

 

Imp-Boy is still confused. As far as he can tell (except for human reality) reality seems to be fine with itself

I'm not people aren't sure why people think it's important to apologize for reality. But who am I to say, you know, I'm I'm just a but I can I can see I can I can see reality right before me, right? People apologize for reality. I can see that. And it seems people seem to like other people apologizing for reality. "Wow. God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I betrayed you." Oh. Oh, please. Okay. Okay. It's okay. and and they'll let them do also the stuff they did again. And if you pause it enough, you know, it works. Oh my god. No, I don't know. Anyway, it's obviously a very important function in this world, right?

 

For something as obviously important as apologizing for reality, we need to have proper training

And I don't think anybody's been trained properly. I mean there must be better ways to apologize or more effective ways or maybe maybe how do you measure effective maybe by the way you know get other people to do I don't know well like feel bad about yourself so you'll look good to others I'm I'm not sure exactly what's going on here but obviously you know something they get they must give me something they keep doing it, right? You know, so and so. Well, I'm just going to just go with it must be important, right? Enough people are doing it, but I hadn't seen anybody making sure that we're doing it the best, right? So, we have to have a contest to see who's the very best apologizer for reality. And then they we can have a certification program. If you're going to apologize for reality, you got to be certified for it.

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A "Best Apologizer in the World" contest...then we'll set up some certification to ensure proper apologies

A lot of people are gonna That's going to be Do you think people can handle that restriction? No. I know people are just all over the willy-nilly apologizing without any certification. You know, God, it's going to be when we start certifying this stuff, we might have a lot of rebellion on our hand.

 

What criteria can we use to assess who is the actuall best Apologizer for Reality?

Wow. Ah, maybe I need some help to stop and think about this contest before because and even what what criteria can we use to know whether it's a really good apology? You know, if it really and totally convinces people even if you're not serious that we're going to judge by that those criteria or we going to judge by how badly you feel when you're doing it.

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We have to ensure that fake apologizes are disqualified (real suffering is essential for true apologies)

Well, we wouldn't want people to be lying, right? So, it's got to be by how bad they feel. So, if we can get a bad feeling meter, maybe we should judge it by the how badly they feel. And the people can feel the most bad about themselves. They almost want to die. Then they can be maybe win as the best apologizer, right?

 

OMG, we need a new catefory: The Best Blamers of Others (who tried the hardest for others to apologize)

Or maybe should be suggested by how well they blame others, you know, because they're blaming others because the others aren't being the way. There's got to be some sort of logic there, right? I mean, because it's just too it's like because they're expecting the others to be blame to feel bad about themselves, right? Because they're blaming them.

 

Best Aplolgizers (ready to kill themselves) & Best Blamers (ready to slaughter others, even by millions)

So it's somehow it there's opt maybe we need a separate category of the best blamers you know the most righteous ones you know we can have a contest yeah I'm not sure which but but you get the idea maybe we have to have two different contests one for the most righteous you know the willing to kill willing the other all over the place you know it doesn't matter you know uh the the most righteous one they can be the best okay and The one that feels most apology like feels like on the edge of killing themsel somebody doesn't forgive them a bit. They can be so we can at least have two awards then later we can sort out this this whole apology thing.

 

Imp-Boy is a bit new on this earth and he needs help setting up and organizing this contest

Yeah, that I want some feedback. Yeah, maybe you need a little bit of help before I finalize the the final criteria and send out the announcement for the for the prizes and everything. Okay, so you guys help me.

 

Imp-Boy is finally learning empathy: to feel bad when others are feeling bad...he thinks this is "love"

Just want to let you know I love you all. I love you all and we got to do this together. Come together. Come together. And maybe maybe in the process it might be a good idea to to blame yourself about because we could fucking doing this too. And then somebody have to apologize for that too. God. Well, maybe somebody knows more about this than I do.

 

Imp-Boy, new to earth, doesn't want to confuse you with the truth any more, he wants you to accept him

But just wanted to give you the announcement. I'm going to do it. I need some help though. Uh maybe two prizes. the most righteous, you know, and willing to kill everybody and the most most uh hurting self almost willing to kill himself. Okay. Uh one or the other. Okay. Byebye. Thank you all. Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. Oh. Oh yes. Oh yeah.