Sometimes people get the impression I am against helping others out...

I understand this misunderstanding. I emphasize the importance of always acting selfishly, taking both short-term and long-term selfishness into account. I emphasize the fact that it's your #1 job to take care of yourself. I say that if can't resolve an issue between taking care of yourself and taking care of another (considering both short-term and long-term), then make sure you're not sacrificing yourself for them.

It's no wonder that others might get the impression that I don't think helping others is so important. They might get the impression that I think we should always do what's good for us, without consideration for how it impacts others.

Not so.

Helping others is an very important way to be selfish

Helping others expresses itself in many selfish ways.

Human beings are designed such that we can derive great satisfaction and joy from results and the pursuit of results, satisfaction both in the results and in the process of going for the results. Human beings are designed, not just to enjoy the moment regardless of whether or not it contributes to our future, but to also love the game of making things different in our future.


-help both ways

-enfolding costs

But if you live your life with accomplishment and results as the lead horse...

Accomplishment and results are great "following horses," but not good lead horses. For most us, we've learned to put results first, above process and lifestyle. The fallout of that is that we've become accomplishment machines, always more, never enough, faster, more and better, do it all, have it all, ad infinitum. In short, it's a formula for an unhappy and even unsuccessful life. 

With lifestyle first, with enjoying the process first...

When we prioritize an enjoyable process, when we prioritize Now being happy, putting getting results in service to that (as the #2 priority to be included), then not only are we happier, but, in the big picture, we're likely to get even more results than when results are the #1 priority. 

Another way to think about it is that any result that we want to include or go for in our life, should have as a first condition of satisfaction that Now is happy in the process of going for that result.

A choice of courage to put enjoying the process first...

When you've designed your life with results first, when there is so much that you "have to do," when you're confronted by one urgent thing after another, it can seem foolhardy to start putting enjoying the process first. And it should be taken step by step...you've spent decades inside the habit of putting results first to get yourself to the place you are now. But even taking it step by step, it will still be a choice of courage. Use undoing fear and the four steps of choosing courage to move you through that.

Related links:

Lifestyle first, results second

Your life is a buffet

Learning from nature

Next showing respect to Now

Now and Next need each other

Undoing fear