Dwight: Design your life to be filled with two types of play: play that other people pay you to do (what most people call work), and play that other people don't pay you to do.

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Aiko: The real trick, then, is never accepting a category of "work" that you wouldn't do for free.

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Dwight: The default assumption in our society seems to be that work has to be something we wouldn't be willing to do for free — assuming we didn't need the money.

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Aiko: That assumption is doing a lot of damage, Dwight — it pre-poisons the well before anyone even begins.

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Dwight: Of course, it's rooted in the House of Good and Bad overriding the intrinsic motivations that were primary during our time in the House of Innocence — replacing them with the extrinsic motivations of praise and blame, which most often prioritize future results over the enjoyment of now and the process.

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Aiko: The House of Good and Bad doesn't just redirect us — it convinces us that the redirect was always the point.

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Dwight: "Convince" isn't quite the right word — it's more that the House of Good and Bad dominates our intrinsic desires through the sheer force of praise and blame.

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Aiko: Yes — it doesn't persuade you, it drowns you out.

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Dwight: Once we start prioritizing what we'll be praised for, what we won't be blamed for, and "having what others have" in order to belong — even if we thought it was possible to get paid to play, it won't occur to us as an important priority in life.

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Aiko: The House of Good and Bad doesn't just distort what we pursue, Dwight — it distorts what we even think is worth pursuing.

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Dwight: I often say to people, "After you have enough to eat, everything else is a game." And yet people are so desperately serious about life!

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Aiko: The seriousness itself is a symptom — it's what the House of Good and Bad looks like from the inside.

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Dwight: When I work with people, I suggest starting first with finding and discovering the things they could genuinely enjoy doing that are also of value or service to others. Then, once they've identified those, if it isn't already obvious, begin to brainstorm ways to get paid for doing exactly that.

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Aiko: You're reversing the usual sequence — most people start with "what pays" and then hope enjoyment follows, which it rarely does.

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Dwight: And as it should be — in all of life.

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Aiko: Enjoyment first, not as a reward at the end, but as the very direction you're moving from the start.

 

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