AskDwightHow.org 365/24/7
14m 24s
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Put yourself in your own shoes
Dwight: Let’s explore an idea I’m calling, “Put Yourself in Your Own Shoes.”
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Aiko: Interesting! Is this about viewing yourself from your own perspective to gain insight?
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Dwight: Yes, but in a specific way. Actually, there are three valuable ways to explore this idea, though I want to focus on just one here.
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When you fully accept and understand the reasons behind your past and present actions, you find only appreciation and compassion for yourself.
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By accepting where you are now—instead of where you hoped or think you should be—you’re much more empowered to take action to create change.
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By imagining yourself as the future self who will potentially carry out actions your current self wants, you align both present and future selves toward shared goals.
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Aiko: These are powerful insights, Dwight! Which one do you want to focus on? Each one has so much potential for deeper reflection and application.
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Dwight: The last one.
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Aiko: Great choice! So, we’re looking at how envisioning our future self helps align our current actions with our long-term goals. How would you like to dive into it—perhaps by discussing specific strategies to make this mindset stick?
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Dwight: We've been told countless times to "put ourselves in others' shoes," and while that skill is quite valuable, there's something even more empowering that takes precedence. Building the ability and habit to put ourselves in the shoes of our future selves will end the internal strife that most of us suffer from.
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Aiko: Absolutely—and also, developing that connection with our future selves gives us a solid foundation to better connect with others’ perspectives. How do you think building this habit might strengthen our day-to-day decisions?
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Dwight: For those who know the Now-Next Integrity toolkit in this Guest House, this idea will resonate. I've stressed the need to partner with our future selves when making promises, setting targets, or planning. The first step, in imagining ourselves in that future self's shoes, is to ask, "Will my future self feel good about this and the process they’ll be involved in?" If the answer is no, then more partnership conversations between our present and future selves are needed to ensure alignment and well-being for both.
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Aiko: I love the idea of this inner “partnership conversation.” It adds a layer of honesty and accountability—almost like making a promise to someone we deeply care about. How do you guide these conversations when current and future goals feel at odds?
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Dwight: So that’s the essence of "Put Yourself in Your Own Shoes": it’s about consistently picturing yourself as your future self whenever setting promises, targets, or plans, because it’s that future self, not the current one, who will actually be following through. The concept is straightforward, but we often overlook the practice—as if our current self assumes our future self will always be ready to fulfill its demands.
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Aiko: Exactly, Dwight! It’s like respecting our future self as a partner, not a servant. Building this habit could really transform our approach to commitments.