I have many long-term friends...they are so important to me.
But just as important to me are strangers. Something is possible with a stranger, someone that you're visiting with for the first time, that doesn't exist with already friends.
It's that fresh dance of mystery and adventure in conversation. It's that virgin tango of creating intimacy where none existed before. It's a heart-thumping risk into the unknown.
That's why I have hosted about 5000 strangers in my home since November of 2014 in my soiree called, "Strangers into Friends: an Evening with Dwight."
Whenever we blame others or whenever we blame ourselves (creating guilt), we blind ourselves to getting clear about and acting prudently in relationship to the costs, benefits, and risks associated with various courses of action open to us. Whenever blame is part of the formula, we are much more likely to act so as to create bigger costs and risks (both for ourselves and others) than we otherwise might be able to avoid, as well as giving up benefits (both for ourselves and others) than we might otherwise be able to get.
Are you a co-conspirator with the popular news?
Recently, in the aftermath of the recent high school shootings in America, the popular news (by popular demand) has put major focus on the gun-control issue. Yes, it's an important issue. But, compared to many other issues that are NOT getting even 1% of the popular news coverage, its importance is miniscule.
For example, the number of people who are suffering and dying (just in America) because of their poor diets, are a million times more than the 17 students who died in that shooting. But where is the outcry, where is the popular news coverage for this? Somewhere, occasionally, buried at the back of the news.
Can you imagine an popular news magazine that displayed the disclaimer: "The following article on the gun-control (or whatever) issue will distract you from paying attention to much more important things in your life."
Are selfish and unselfish the same?
I've noticed that the more I have learned how to serve my own self interests, both short term and long term, the more that other people experience me as generous and unselfish.
I don't think it's necessary to wait (at least not very long) to have the lifestyle you really want.
Here's a way to test whether or not your current lifestyle is your dream lifestyle: ask yourself, "If somehow I came into $50 million dollars tomorrow, would that change my lifestyle very much?" If the answer is "yes," then you're not yet living your dream lifestyle.
I think that, with the right way of thinking about your life, you can have the lifestyle that you want NOW...you don't have to wait. If you want to know "how," send me an email at and I'll let you know.
Often the best way to win is to not play.
This is obvious when considering gambling at a casino.
But what about arguing with your spouse? Do you ever really win when you play the "argument game"? In these cases, it's just better to listen, rather than argue. You'll always win more this way.