The importance of 100%

​

In our interactions with others, taking 100% responsibility means refraining from blaming others or even ourselves for communication breakdowns or relational difficulties. Instead, it involves focusing on how our own words and actions contribute to the responses we receive and adjusting accordingly to create the kind of relationships we desire. This perspective acknowledges that when we expect others to behave differently without examining our own role in the dynamic, we relinquish some of our potential influence, placing our focus on where we have the least control.

​

​

Less than 100% finds a sneaky way in

​

A common phrase that illustrates this misunderstanding is the statement: "You're not understanding me." On the surface, it appears to be a neutral observation. However, in practice, it often provokes defensiveness or resistance in the person it is directed toward. This statement subtly places the responsibility for the misunderstanding on the other person, suggesting that they are failing in their ability to comprehend. This approach not only diminishes the likelihood of cooperative engagement but also distracts us from where real improvement can occur.

​

​

Reclaiming your power

​

A more effective and responsible alternative is to reframe the statement as, "I don’t think I spoke in a way that you were able to understand me." This shift in language acknowledges our role in the interaction and invites a more constructive dialogue. By doing so, we position ourselves as active participants in shaping the response we receive, rather than passive recipients of someone else’s supposed misunderstanding.

​

​

Other ways to say 100%

​

This approach aligns with the NLP maxim: "The meaning of your communication is the response that you get." In other words, communication is not defined by our intent but by how it is received and interpreted. If our message does not elicit the desired response, it is a signal that we need to modify our delivery rather than expecting the listener to change how they process information.

​

​

When you give away your power, you undermine both results and peace

​

By taking 100% responsibility in our communication, we empower ourselves to create more productive and harmonious relationships. This mindset not only fosters better understanding but also reduces unnecessary conflict. Instead of perceiving others as obstacles to communication, we can view them as partners, adjusting our approach to ensure that our messages are conveyed effectively and received as intended. In doing so, we maintain our own agency and maximize the potential for positive interactions.