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The path of power and peace

A slippery distinction for many

Understanding and applying the concept of complete responsibility can be challenging for many, possibly due to its perceived contradiction with societal norms we inhabit, such as "fairness" and "equality."

However, the comprehension and execution of this principle are pivotal in crafting and preserving a life that brings us joy.

It can be defined more easily by what it is not.

If you're blaming another...

If you find yourself pointing fingers at others, becoming defensive, or resigning to or merely tolerating your relationships, or if you refrain from making requests, saying "no," or establishing and upholding boundaries for self-care and nurturing optimal relationships, then you are not exercising full responsibility in your relationships with others.

If you're blaming yourself...

If you're blaming yourself in your relationship with another or others, if you're blaming yourself (or regretting what you did before), if your Next is blaming your Now for what she or he did or didn't do or for what she or he is reluctant or unwilling to do, if you're guilting or criticizing yourself for any reason, then you're not being 100% responsible in your relationship with yourself.

If you're not accepting the costs and risks...

If you're not fully accepting that every one of your choices (whether made proactively or by default) includes risks, costs, benefits, and possibilities, both short-range and long-range, both for yourself and others, then you're not being 100% responsible for your life.

Positively defined...

Positively defined, there are some ways to point at 100% responsibility by quoting certain ideas: 


"As a teacher, there are no students who can't learn, there are only teachers who don't teach."

"As a student, there are no teachers who can't teach, there are only students who don't learn."

"The meaning of our communication is the response that we get." (NLP maxim)

"There are no people who hurt our feelings, there only our interpretations and expectations that hurt our feelings."

"There are no unhappy childhoods (from the view of the adult who looks back on his or her childhood), there are only childhoods that we haven't re-interpreted in an interesting and empowering way."

"There are no failures, there are only intentions that weren't (fully) satisfied."

"There are no gofts, there are only gifts that haven't been discovered or created yet."

There is no right or wrong about 100%'s just a powerful opportunity.

There is nothing wrong with not being 100% responsible. It just means there are some fundamental powers and possibilities that we haven't tapped into yet.

Responsibility lives outside the ideas of right, wrong, good, bad, fair, unfair, deserve, and don't deserve.

Related links


100% responsible (take 1)

#1 job

Is being responsible irresponsible?

Saying no

Undoing shoulds.

Why did God put you in your body?

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