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Chairs need four legs
How often do you make your "chairs" with only one leg?
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And then you pretend you built a functional chair.
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Each leg is a result
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Each leg by itself cannot stand up. You must have at least three, and at best, four legs to make a "chair" that will stand and endure.
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Our mistake is to believe that only one leg is a necessary and valid result
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And that leg is usually an external result that others can more easily see and appreciate. Such results might be preparing a meal, getting a promotion, jogging for two miles, or passing an exam. So it's easy to get agreement from others that this leg is the only necessary leg.
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We believe we can cut corners or ignore the other three primary results, the other three legs, as long as we get the secondary result, which others can easily see and acknowledge. Consequently, for all the results that we get, we rarely create chairs that are whole and complete and fully functional.
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What are the other three primary (internal) results which are an integral part of making each chair?
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The secondary results that we go for and achieve or not achieve will vary. The three primary results, however, are always essentially the same. The only difference is that they relate to the secondary result for each chair that you are building.
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The ongoing sense of fulfillment associated with every secondary result, both short-term and long-term, both small and big that you go for and/or achieve.
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The loving of the journey, of the process, and having fun in going for every secondary result, including whatever steps or milestones it takes, both short-term and long-term, both small and big.
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The sense of freedom and choice, both moment-by-moment and hour-by-hour, as you choose and re-choose whatever game you're playing for every secondary result you're intending.
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Why do I insist that these three results are primary?
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And why is the other result, which is usually external, secondary?
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Getting the secondary result without the primary result is like looking at the menu without getting to enjoy eating the food. It's like achieving the symbol of success but not fully reveling in your ongoing successes. It's like arriving at a destination but missing the joy of the journey.
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If you don't include the three primary results as necessary parts of going for the secondary result, then you're, by default, sabotaging the purpose of your life: happiness.
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"The World is Not Enough" 007 movie
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This idea is essentialized in this 007 movie with a motto that's repeated, "There's no point living if you can't feel alive."
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PS: I am not recommending this movie.
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The three primary results need not be risky; with practice, they're almost guaranteed
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In fact, you can get all three primary results and not necessarily get the secondary result, the achievement of which is not often guaranteed. Sometimes you'll succeed and sometimes you won't. If you're choosing and playing the games that are the most fulfilling to play, you will always have the risk of "failure," of not attaining the final intended result of the game. Any game without the chance of "losing" is not a fun game.
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Stop trying to get the job done with slave labor
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There was a time in history when even very smart people thought it would be impossible to "have a civilized society" without slaves and the institution of slavery. They were so blinded by the status quo that they believed the creation of wealth required slavery.
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They could not conceive of a society in which all people could choose to work or quit, to exchange with others or not, according to the value they were offered. They could not comprehend that such a society of free exchange would make everyone richer, even the ones who were formerly the masters.
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Do you still believe in slave labor?
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If you're not treating your Now with respect and consideration, if you're still trying to push or guilt him or her in submitting to what your Next wants, then you're treating your Now as a slave who is expected to sacrifice himself or herself again and again to the demands and needs of your Next.
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Including the three primary results (legs of the chair) in every intention that Next has ensures an emancipated Now.
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Three-legged stools complement four-legged chairs
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When you "lose," when you don't get the secondary result, if you still fulfill on creating and maintaining the three primary results, then even though you don't have a four-legged chair, you still have a serviceable three-legged stool.
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How often do you neglect to recognize and act on the essentiality of the three primary results?
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If you continue to neglect to include the three primary results as necessary parts of any possible secondary result that you're going for, you're severely de-legging yourself in your ability to live a life that continually fulfills on it's promise of happiness and joy.
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Four-legged chairs and three-legged stools!
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It's so do-able. It's just a new habit you can create step by step. Instead of prioritizing results over the process and the enjoyment of the process, reverse that prioritization. The three primary results are primary! Treat the external secondary result as secondary. For each chair you want to build, focus on handling the three primary results, which are more within your immediately control, and the secondary result will take care of itself.
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You'll always be blessed either with a great four-legged chair or a three-legged stool!
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