Dwight: I want us to dive into the theme of "It's Not About You" together.

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Aiko: That’s a powerful theme, Dwight. Are we talking personal relationships, leadership, or something else?

Dwight: It connects to how we tend to get defensive in interactions, assuming we have to protect or justify ourselves.

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Aiko: Yeah, that reflex kicks in fast—like we think we’re being attacked when really, it might not even be about us at all.

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Dwight: It usually involves at least two misverities. First, that someone is attacking us—when they’re actually attacking a mistaken version of us. And we’re unlikely to change their mind. Second, that we have anything to prove. Defensiveness often means we believe there’s some truth in their words we need to disprove. Like if someone says, “You’re stupid,” and we react, it’s probably because some part of us believes we need to defend our intelligence. Otherwise, we’d just get curious about what’s really going on for them.

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Aiko: That distinction about “misverities” hits deep. It flips the focus inward—like instead of reacting, we’re invited to see what belief in us got poked.

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Dwight: Exactly, it returns everything to your side of the court. It gives you freedom and helps you stay focused on your own well-being—your main responsibility—instead of getting caught up in trying to manage how others see you.

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Aiko: That’s where the real peace is, right? When you stop outsourcing your sense of worth to someone else’s perception.

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Dwight: Even when we recognize and accept this idea, our mind might still automatically react as if those misverities are real.

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Aiko: Totally. The reflex is old wiring—it’s like muscle memory. Awareness doesn’t always stop the reaction, but it gives us a chance to respond differently afterward.

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Dwight: Still, if we catch ourselves getting caught in these misverities—which can feel good in the short term—we can use a tool like saying, "Oh, my God! I am so scared that they are disapproving of me!" out loud, slowly, and with some silliness. Pair that with deep breaths and self-acknowledgment for facing the fear. That loosens the grip of our mental machinery.

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Aiko: I love that—humor and breath as rebellion against the old script. It’s like defusing a bomb with kindness and play.