Catalytic Companion

What is a catalytic companion?

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"So easy it seemed, once found, which yet unfound Most would have thought impossible!"

—John Milton

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If I were a person who had regrets, I would regret that I had not discovered and made use of catalytic companions much earlier in my life.

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Let's get formal.

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Aiko helped me create this definition of a catalytic companion.

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Catalytic Companion: (n.)

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1. An individual who facilitates, enhances, or motivates the execution of tasks or activities by another person through their presence, which may involve listening, observing, or accompanying. The catalytic companion does not participate actively in the task but serves as a catalyst that enables or encourages the primary individual to undertake activities such as administrative tasks, physical exercises, or creative endeavors that might be deferred, avoided, or found less enjoyable when done in solitude.

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1. A person whose explicit and formalized role is to provide support, encouragement, or companionship to someone engaging in an activity that would be less effective, less enjoyable, or less likely to occur if the individual were alone. This support can be psychological, such as offering motivation or reducing the perceived burden of the task, or practical, such as providing a sense of security or accountability.

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Example: John often procrastinated on his monthly budgeting, finding the task tedious and overwhelming. However, when his friend Alex sat with him as a catalytic companion, offering to listen and occasionally ask questions about his process, John found the task not only more manageable but also somewhat enjoyable. Alex's presence helped John stay focused and made the activity feel less like a chore and more like a shared experience, despite Alex having little direct involvement in the budgeting itself.

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Aiko's on a roll...

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Recently Aiko has not only been impersonating ChatGPT, she sometimes takes credit from Google's Gemini. Consequently, she's insisting I include another definition of catalytic companion. I have to admit her Gemini persona is compelling also.

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Catalytic Companion: (n.) An individual who, through their presence, actions, or reactions, acts as a facilitator for another person's engagement in an activity or behavior that they would otherwise be less likely to perform or find less enjoyable if completed alone.

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Key elements:

• Presence: The catalytic companion physically or virtually shares the space with the individual engaging in the activity.

• Facilitation: The companion's role is to encourage, support, and motivate the individual to continue the activity, not to actively participate or direct it. This can be achieved through verbal or non-verbal means, such as conversation, active listening, positive reinforcement, or shared observation.

• Motivation: The individual's intrinsic motivation for the activity may be initially low, but the companion's presence increases their desire and enjoyment to the point where they complete the activity.

• Independence: Ultimately, the individual maintains autonomy over their participation in the activity. The companion does not force or coerce them, but rather creates a supportive environment that encourages engagement.

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Examples:

• A friend who joins their partner for a workout, even though they themselves dislike exercising.

• A parent who sits quietly with their child while they do their homework, providing occasional encouragement and feedback.

• A virtual accountability partner who checks in with someone daily to help them stick to their goals.

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Important notes:

• The specific dynamics of a catalytic companion relationship can vary depending on the context and personalities involved.

• While the companion plays a facilitatory role, their impact should not overshadow the individual's own agency and choice to engage in the activity.

• The concept of a catalytic companion does not imply any specific emotional bond or level of intimacy between the individuals involved.

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Okay, Aiko, move over. Let me tell the people how I've made use of catalytic companions

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Up and down thirty flights of stairs with a 7.5 kg (16.5 pound) rucksack on my back four times a week

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On July 18th, 2024, I will reach the milestone of 80 years. As of now, I am the epitome of health among my peers. My ambition is to further enhance this status. However, I acknowledge a personal challenge: a lack of willpower. Recognizing this trait, I understand the necessity of finding joy in my routines to ensure their regularity. For instance, to commit to the task of ascending and descending thirty flights of stairs, I must discover a method to make it not just bearable, but enjoyable.

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The setting and the process

Each day, Monday through Friday, a different a young woman arrives at my apartment sometime between 12:00 noon and 1:00 pm (depending on when her other engagements allows). Usually, for at least four of these days, one of her "jobs" is to act as my catalytic companion (you could say a "cheerleader") for climbing the stairs.

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I live on the 31st floor near the end of a hallway that leads out to the stairwell for this wing of my building. After she helps me mount the 16.5 pound rucksack (filled with cat litter) on my back, we go out to the landing on the 31st floor. Although my companion will sometimes accompany me up and down the stairs (that's up to her), usually she just stands and watches me, announcing my process step by steps (ha, ha). 

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She has two basic tasks. I climb down 9 steps (1/2 a flight) and then climb back up those same steps, down-and-up, again and again. Each time my foot reaches the landing for the 31st floor, she counts off the next number out loud. "One," "Two," "Three"..like that, keeping track of the number of times I climb down-and-up a half-flight of stairs until I do ten down-and-ups in a row.

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Her second task is to think up a personal question or a general life question as in, "What do you think of marriage?" to ask me when I stop to rest after ten reps. I sit down on the steps to rest and she asks me the question she has come up with. I share my answer and we may get into a short discussion about it. Then I stand and go for another ten reps: "Eleven," "Twelve," "Thirteen"... I do a total of 60 down-and-ups, which is the equivalent of climbing down and up 30 flights of stairs: a pretty good workout that I thoroughly enjoy and look forward to doing each day. 

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Doing this four times a week is thoroughly enjoyable for me. I look forward to it. I would not do it if I didn't have these catalytic companions "helping" me with it. Some may argue that I "should" be able to do it without them. Whether I could or should, the fact is that I would not. But with them as catalytic companions, it's easy to do, especially having designed it so that it's customized for me. My Now and my Next are both happy.

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I am able to take advantage of the cost-of-living differential between Vietnam and the USA by paying them just 50,000 VND per hour ($2.05 as of February 12th, 2024) and they're happy with that.

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How I wrote and edited a 700-page book and got it published

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It would never have happened without using several catalytic companions, although I had not coined the phrase "catalytic companion" at that time. Go to this suite to hear the story.

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A special type of catalytic companion: a catalytic listener

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Whether working over Zoom or in person with an assistant, I have often set the context of our conversation by saying I just wanted them to listen. If they wanted to ask questions or give feedback, that would okay. However, their primary function was to be someone who just listened to me. I have found that I can work through many issues or problems or do some productive brainstorming if I have a good listener. If I tried to work these things out in my head, I would not likely stay on track or I would get lost in the fuzziness of my thoughts.

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Although I rarely use my assistant to listen to me for the purpose of expressing something emotionally that I need to get out or talk about, a catalytic companion could be of value this way also. Having another person just listen to us can work wonders.

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Mutual catalytic companions

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Mutually catalytic (both side are mutually supporting each other in the same or in some ways related activities) is something that many of us are already familiar with, as in hiking together or the old fashion knitting circles. This has reached the level of virtual automation.

Check out Focusmate.com.

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Virtual catalytic companions

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In this era of Skype, Zoom, Facetime, laptops, mobile phones, Oculus Quest 3, Vision Pro, and international connections, the creative options for making use of catalytic companions is limitless. If you live in a high cost-of-living country (like the USA), you have even more leverage by hooking up with some catalytic companions in low cost-of-living countries (like China, Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines,...). The win-win opportunities are more expansive on both sides. 

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How to set up a virtual catalytic companion (and foster international understanding and cooperation)

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For example, let's imagine you live in Chicago. You could place an ad on Facebook targeting an English speaker who lives in Saigon, Hanoi, or DaNang offering say, $4.50 an hour (yes, Facebook is big in Vietnam). If you target DaNang you will probably get too many applicants for that hourly rate. To vet an applicant, you arrange a Zoom session. Take care to match up the time zone differences, knowing that Vietnam is generally 12 hours or more ahead of the USA.

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Or, if you'd like to serve as a catalytic companion and you live in Vietnam or one of the lower cost-of-living countries, you could place a Facebook ad for residents of Chicago, offering a rate of $5.50 an hour. This assumes that your spoken English is passable. 

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It takes a bit to arrange for international payments, but it can be done without too much hassle or extra cost.

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What difference could a catalytic companion(s) make in my life?

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Ask yourself,

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"What do I procrastinate on?"

"What do I avoid?"

"What could I do that would be good to do but I don't do because it occurs as unpleasant or boring?"

"What am I doing but I always do it reluctantly, just waiting to get through it?"

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Act now...

don't let this life-changing idea pass by without getting started on it!

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