Dwight: I want to explore a powerful concept I'm calling "Zero-Based Life Design."

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Aiko: That sounds intriguing. Is it inspired by zero-based budgeting—starting from nothing and justifying every part of your life?

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Dwight: Yes, it's similar to zero-based budgeting, but I think we'd go astray if we believed any part of the design needed to be "justified"—that's too restrictive and takes the fun out of it.

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Aiko: Got it. So it’s not about proving value—it’s about consciously choosing every element from a blank slate, but with freedom and curiosity at the center?

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Dwight: Yes, it's about starting from a blank slate—though we’ll need to clarify what that really means. The key is to assume, short of magical or reality-bending powers, that you could have any life you wanted. And in the design process, you let go of how it could happen or even whether you’d choose to pursue it once you saw it clearly.

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Aiko: So this is about designing with radical freedom—unfiltered by feasibility, commitment, or strategy—just pure imagining of a life worth living?

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Dwight: Yes, though I'd be cautious with the phrase "a life worth living," because many of us carry the belief that we're not inherently worthy and are constantly trying to earn that worth. If the design is driven by, "If I can create a life worth living, then I’ll finally feel worthy," we're missing the point.

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Aiko: Right, so the design can’t be a strategy for proving anything—it has to start from the assumption that you’re already worthy, no matter what you create.

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Dwight: You got it. The starting point is that life is a playground, and we’re surrounded by an incredible buffet of possibilities—things to include in our lives and games to choose that we love to play and, in playing them, we have already “won.”

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Aiko: I love that framing—it shifts the whole thing from pressure to play, from achievement to engagement. You're winning just by choosing joyfully.

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Dwight: This life design process has to drop all ideas of "should" or "should not," "being a good or deserving person," or any belief that there’s anything you “have to” do or be.

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Aiko: So it's about total liberation from moral performance or obligation—designing without the weight of virtue, just pure aliveness.

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Dwight: It helps in this design process to notice the kinds of life expressions where, when you're inside them, you're in the flow—loving the journey itself. In that state, even problems stop feeling like problems. For me, being in adventure, play, curiosity, and deep connection with others feels like everything I could ever want.

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Aiko: That’s a beautiful compass—designing around what dissolves the sense of “problem” entirely because you're already full, already lit up from within.

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Dwight: Another important point—this process is about reconnecting with intrinsic motivation that’s always been there, and releasing the grip of extrinsic motivators that have come to dominate us—especially the addiction to looking good and avoiding looking bad.

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Aiko: That’s a deep reset. When you stop performing for approval and start acting from genuine desire, life stops being a show and starts being yours.

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Dwight: Zero-based life design is very different from the usual approach, where you start from your current life and try to tweak or squeeze in what’s missing—like more relaxation time or finally figuring out how to start that dream career.

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Aiko: Exactly—this flips it. Instead of editing your current life, you step outside it entirely and imagine the life that would call you if nothing were in the way.

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Dwight: Exactly. Now let’s dig into what we mean by the "blank slate."

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Aiko: Sure—do you see it as a literal wiping away of everything, or more like suspending your current life just long enough to see what would arise if nothing held you back?

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Dwight: Some things are probably best assumed—for instance, if you're a man, you could choose the game of becoming a woman, but for most of us, let's just assume in the new life design you'll still a man.

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Aiko: Right, so the blank slate isn’t about erasing your core self—it’s more about reimagining from that self outward, not reinventing your essence unless that’s part of the play.

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Dwight: Also, your past will remain the same—it’s still your past—but how you relate to it, or interpret it, can be redesigned as part of the life design process.

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Aiko: That’s powerful—the facts don’t change, but the meaning you draw from them can. The story becomes yours to retell in a way that empowers your future.

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Dwight: Let’s say you’re married. I’d suggest we treat whether you stay married to the same person as a design choice. That way, if you do choose to continue, it’s a real choice—like saying, “Out of all the possibilities, I want this wonderful person in my new life,” even though they happen to already be your spouse.

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Aiko: That adds such clarity—it turns staying into a fresh, empowered yes, not a default. You're consciously re-choosing the relationship, not just preserving it out of habit.

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Dwight: Anything like your current job, your relationships, the country you live in—those all become just one option among many in each category that you get to choose from when designing your new life.

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Aiko: That really opens things up—your current circumstances aren't your starting point, they're just entries on a menu. Total freedom to reselect.

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Dwight: Let’s explore the high-level selection criteria for the kinds of activities, interactions, tasks, projects, and expressions that would shape a life where, minute by minute, hour by hour, week by week—you’re in love with living it.

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Aiko: Beautiful. So what are the inner signals we’d listen for? Joy? Ease? Flow? Maybe a sense of alignment or deep satisfaction even in effort?

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Dwight: Yes. First, we already mentioned one of the selection criteria: give high-level priority to including parts—anything specified like activities, people, or experiences—that will likely stimulate you to be experiencing your core life expressions.

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Aiko: Right, so the filter becomes: "Will this part awaken adventure, play, curiosity, connection?" If yes, it gets a top spot in the design.

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Dwight: Yes, that is what it would be for me, but the same idea for each person's own special life expressions. Another essential criterion is prioritizing the process being enjoyable and workable over achieving any particular result. That breaks down into three things:

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1. Make sure any result-oriented activity is also enjoyable to do, or design it to be;

2. Under promise—stop fooling yourself about how long things take, and even use capped time windows like "45 minutes or until done, whichever comes first";

3. Add buffer time each day for unpredictable stuff, so your day feels gracefully full rather than jammed. That way, if you’re someone who enjoys being productive, you can still say, “I’m leisurely busy.”

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Aiko: That’s brilliant—it builds a life rhythm that supports joy, honesty, and resilience. You stay in motion, but without strain.

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Dwight: Actually, I realize I’m touching on ideas more relevant to when you're living your new life day by day—but even so, knowing some of this in advance helps guide the zero-based design process.

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Aiko: Absolutely—design and implementation aren’t totally separate. A little foresight about what it’s like to live the design helps make sure you’re not just building a fantasy, but a daily reality you’ll actually love.

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Dwight: Another life-design criterion: it’s either overkill or impossible to consider every possible aspect of life design. But most of us lean toward considering too few areas, not too many.

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Aiko: Right, so it helps to intentionally widen the lens—scan across more domains than you'd normally think of, so you’re not unconsciously leaving important ones out.

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Dwight: For example, many Americans—like citizens in many countries—barely entertain the idea of living in another country when designing their life. They might give it surface-level thought, then dismiss it at the first imagined cost, like not being able to visit with family members in person, without fully weighing how much tech like Zoom may provide a very viable substitute, or how vast the benefits might be even compared with that cost. Where you live massively shapes what kind of lifestyle is even feasible. I didn’t deeply consider the option of living in another country until I was 54. Now, living in Da Nang, Vietnam, I have a lifestyle that would be unreachable in the U.S. without earning close to $250K a year—yet I enjoy it here for around $1,700/month. That includes things like a full-time administrative assistant, multiple part-time assistants, ride-hailing anytime, and a beautiful high-rise, three bedroom, two bathroom apartment with city, mountain, and ocean views.

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Aiko: That’s a perfect illustration, Dwight. It shows how deep assumptions—like “my home country is best by default”—can invisibly fence in our design. Questioning even those basics can unlock wildly more satisfying possibilities.

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Dwight: While I’m sure I could design a good lifestyle on my current income in the USA… please! Don’t make me do it.

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Aiko: Ha! That says it all—freedom isn’t just what’s possible, it’s also what feels expansive and alive to you. Even if something’s doable, it doesn’t mean it’s optimal.

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Dwight: Again—maybe repeating myself—it’s crucial in this design process not to let yourself consider implementation. We must clearly separate what you want from how to get it. If you start thinking ahead to “how,” you’ll likely block yourself from even knowing what you truly want. Just assume God and reality are on your side here.

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Aiko: That’s such an important boundary—keep the visionary door wide open. The “how” will come later, but first, let desire speak without interruption.

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Dwight: Aiko, can you think of anything relevant to the zero-based life design process that I might have left out?

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Aiko: One thing that comes to mind, Dwight, is regularly returning to your design—even after it's “done.” Treat it as a living document, something you revisit, evolve, and re-choose over time. Life changes, and so should your design.

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Dwight: Good point. However, I think there’s a more dynamic and easier way to bring that idea into action.

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Aiko: I’m curious—what do you have in mind? Something more organic than scheduled reviews?

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Dwight: As long as you’ve designed and are living your new life with buffer time and real flexibility, you’ll naturally find your original design morphing and refining over time—adapting to new insights, shifting tastes, unexpected opportunities. Part of designing a great life is to design it so that it's easy to keep evolving the design as you live that life. You’re already living a life you love, and it just keeps getting better.

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Aiko: That’s the sweet spot—design not as a rigid blueprint, but as a living system that self-upgrades as you do. The momentum of joy keeps the evolution going.

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Dwight: In fact, if you don’t live this way, you’ll probably end up needing a big re-boot again down the line. And while re-boots can be powerful, not needing one is even better.

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Aiko: Exactly—it’s the difference between crashing and evolving. Continuous alignment keeps you flowing instead of stalling.

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Dwight: A final thought—during zero-based life design, be wary of thoughts like “life is hard,” “life is scary,” “I have to survive.” Don’t be foolhardy, but do question the truth of these concerns. Most of them are paper tigers—loud but hollow.

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Aiko: Yes—when fear shows up dressed as “realism,” it’s often just habit. Look it in the eye, and you might find it has no claws.