How deeply is your fear buried?

How deeply is your fear buried?

Special note: Dufear means a "dammed-up fear" or a resisted fear. Aiko decided to be creative in her spelling when she created the above image for us by spelling it "dufeear."

A clueless client

I was once working with a client who brought up an interesting issue.

John said to me,

“Dwight, I would like a little extra money.

I have this opportunity to sell a product. It’s a good product.

I know enough about the product, I know enough about myself,

I know enough about the prospects on the list of names I have to call to know that

if I would just get on the phone and make the calls, I would earn about $300 per hour." (this is back in 1992)

“But I’m having trouble getting myself to sit down and make these calls and I don’t know why!

I know that I am not afraid.”

If any of you had ever met John, you would probably agree with him that he was not afraid.

John was one of the most charismatic, outwardly self-confident men I had ever met. In fact, his job took him all over the world, leading workshops for high-level managers and executives.

Sleuthing out the hidden fear

I asked John this question,

“Imagine, John, that somehow we were able to guarantee that every person you telephoned would respond to you by saying,

‘John, I am so glad you called to tell me about this product! How soon can it be delivered?’

“If we were able to guarantee this, would you have any reluctance to sitting down, right now, and start making those calls?”

John laughed and said,

“No, I would not!”

It was only then that he could see that he was frightened, frightened of rejection, frightened of what people might think, frightened that people would feel he was too intrusive, frightened that he might not get as many yeses as he expected, frightened of…

Unresisting the fear and choosing courage

Once he could see that it was only fear, then he could see that he had a clear choice: he could choose courage (and the probable results that he wanted) or he could choose to feel safe and comfortable in the moment (and forgo that probable $300 an hour).

Other expression of dufear

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