A Now-Next issue

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Although it can be exacerbated by Oneself-Others issues, impatience is a Now-Next problem.

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It can assume various forms

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• Impatience when a traffic jam or waiting for the airplane to board

• Impatience when listening to someone

• Impatience because something is taking too long for you to finish

• Impatience with how long it's taking someone else to do something

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Now-Next Integrity tools to undo impatience

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The most general approach to undoing impatience is by using Undoing expectations.

Of course, at the root of expectations are shoulds. So try also Undoing shoulds.

More specifically, you might target it with Undoing frustration.

It might be alleviated with Undoing perfectionism and Going with "good enough".

Two other tools for heading impatience off at the pass are creating Buffers and Under promising.

Don't forget Claiming the power of "no".

Add into your toolbox Having enough time for everything, Step by Step, and Small celebrations.

Include that goodie Precrastination.

Look at this gem Undoing efficiency.

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In fact, almost any tool in the NNI toolkit can contribute to you being able to have patience in whatever circumstance.

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Oneself-Others tools to create patience

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It's obvious that having a better relationship with another would support you being more patient with them. Therefore any and all tools in the OOI toolkit could be helpful. 

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Two tools, however, deserve front and center: Listening and Listening to listening.

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A final special tool for patience

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Have you ever heard the expression, "Patience is finding something else interesting to do while you're waiting"?

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I have used this guideline to happy effect innumerable times in my life. 

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Sometimes it involved planning ahead, like always having with me a book to read (in my trusty Kindle) or a notebook to write in.

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Other times, it might involve improvisation.

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One time, when I was living in Shanghai, a friend and I agreed to meet at a coffee shop at 2:00 PM. I was there ten minutes early. I was fine just looking around for ten minutes. But when my friend was not there on time, I struck up a conversation with some other patrons. When my friend finally showed up thirty minutes later, I was actually a bit "disappointed" because I had to end the interesting conversation I was having with my "new friends."

 

Bonus: although I discussed "being late" with her regarding possible future visits together, I wasn't upset with my friend for being late.

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Remember the gem: "Patience is finding something else interesting to do while you're waiting."

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