Could the boogey man be our best friend?

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Fear has long been portrayed as the enemy, as the spoiler.

 

From a very early age, we have been taught to hide it, to avoid it, to deny it, to resist it, to make it wrong, and make ourselves wrong for having it.

 

Even people who typically regard themselves as enlightened see fear as something to be belittled, resisted, or argued away (e.g. some New Age people characterize fear as “false experiences appearing real”).

 

Fundamentally, fear is just energy, energy that can be used to serve our desires and commitments.

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Fear was designed to serve us

 

When animals are frightened, they are in their most resourceful state. They can either fight or flee very effectively. When humans are frightened, however, we are often in our least resourceful state.

 

Why?

 

Because it is not simple fear we are feeling. It is fear that we are resisting. It is the “resisting” part that makes us un-resourceful, not the fear itself. We are at war with ourselves.

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The "bogey man" is just trying to help us

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We treat fear as an enemy. And as long as we treat it as an enemy, as long as we resist it, as long as we deny it and hide it, as long as we make ourselves wrong for having it, as long as we avoid it, it will be our enemy. It becomes us against ourselves.

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Fear's got your six

 

However, if we embrace our fear, if we breathe into it, if we tap into its energy, allowing it to flow through us,

our fear can be our friend. We can use the energy of the fear to serve us.

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Sometimes fear alerts us to something we need to be concerned about. Other times, it's either entirely or mostly a paper-tiger fear. Regardless of which type, it will be our friend if we treat it that way.

 

You may have heard the phrase: “What you resist, persists.” This is especially true of fear. When we resist our fear, our fear resists us as well and much of our energy gets tied up in an internal knot, making us feel weak and ineffective.

 

What we normally call fear is not fear; it is resisted fear.

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• The knot in your stomach is not fear; it is resisted fear.

• The worry you feel is not fear; it is resisted fear.

• The tension in your body is not fear; it is resisted fear.

• The guilt you feel is not fear; it is resisted fear.

• The resentment you feel is not fear; it is resisted fear.

• That pressure you feel is not fear; it is resisted fear.

• Your perfectionism is not fear; it is resisted fear.

• Your impatience is not fear; it is resisted fear.

• Your indecision is not fear; it is resisted fear.

• Your defensiveness is not fear; it is resisted fear.

• Your sweaty palms are not fear; they are resisted fear.

• That jealousy you feel is not fear; it is resisted fear.

• Your headache is not fear; it is resisted fear.

• Your thought “I can’t do this” is not fear; it is resisted fear.

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Making friends with your fear

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When we embrace our fear, when we breathe deeply into its energies, then it doesn’t feel much like fear anymore. As I said, what we call fear is, most often, resisted fear. Once we embrace our fear, then it feels much more like energy, energy we can use and work with.

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