Are your horses before your carts?
THE ESSENCE OF THE FUNDAMENTALS
Two distinct internal wars account for
all*** of mankind's problems.
The Now-Next wars
The first war is between Now and Next. Now is that part of us (which we often cast as the bad guy) who just wants to enjoy now. Next is that part of us (most often the good guy) who is trying to take care of our future.
Example: Now wants to eat that piece of cake. But Next thinks we should put our future health (and more attractive weight) as a priority and eat another serving of no-oil salad.
The Oneself-Others wars
The second war is between Oneself and Others. Oneself is the "selfish" part of us (which we often cast as the bad guy) who is trying to provide for our own needs and wants. Others is that part of us (often the good guy) who is interested in taking care of others and looking good to others.
Example: Oneself doesn't want to lend money to our friend. But Others is concerned about our friend and wants to be generous.
All*** problems are rooted in these civil wars
All human problems are, at root, a result of these civil wars that exist between two or more of these four antagonists.
In all cultures of the world, throughout all of recorded history, mankind has made Now and Oneself out as the bad guys, with Next and Others wearing the white hats.
Creating peace and partnership
Step by step, as you address and resolve your problems using "Ask Dwight How," you will create peace, partnership, and integrity among these four important parts of you.
Not only will you learn new and amazing ways to create these partnerships, but you will realize a new set of priorities.
We've been putting the cart (Next) before the horse (Now)
In the past, whenever you've had a conflict between Now and Next, you thought that what Next wanted should be prioritized over what Now wanted. With a new perspective, you will recognize that this priority was "putting the cart before the horse." Yes, paying attention to what Next wants is important. But, as you create win-wins for Now and Next, the best way is by prioritizing Now's desires (enjoying the process) over those of Next (getting the results). This puts the horse (Now) before the cart (Next).
Again, we've been putting the horse (Oneself) before the cart (Others)
Similarly, with Oneself and Others, as we learn to create win-wins between them, you will learn that the best way is by prioritizing Oneself (the horse) over Others (the cart). Of course, Others is very important. And, in the big picture, taking care of Oneself first (if needed) is fundamental to taking better care of Others (put your oxygen mask on first).
A new peace and partnership
This new perspective is radical and understandably controversial. As you use this website, take it step by step and you will find that the case for this new priority is unassailable.
***Really?! All of mankind's problems can be solved?
Could ALL of mankind's problems be resolved simply by everyone creating integrity between their Now and their Next, as well as between their Oneself and their Others?
Two types of problems: integrity and technological
This may occur as an irresponsibly lofty claim. To validate this claim, let's establish that there are two types of problems. The type of problems that can be solved completely by creating both NNI (Now/Next integrity) and OOI (Oneself/Others integrity) are the first type of problem. These problems always result in suffering. These are integrity problems. The second type or problem are technological. These problems do not necessarily cause suffering, unless they are collapsed with one or more integrity problems.
Examples of the two types
Examples of integrity problems: “I really want to eat this ice cream, but I should watch my weight.” or “My friend wants to borrow some money and that makes me uncomfortable, but I also want to be a good friend.” or “I’m so scared that I won’t be able to pass the upcoming test.”
Examples of a technological problems: “What can I do to increase my sales effectiveness by 20%?” or “How can I do a great job of cooking these vegetables?” or "How can I help my spouse feel my love more?"
Problems which cause suffering and problems which do not
The first type of problem will cause suffering. The second type, in and of itself, will not cause suffering, although it can be helpful if they were solved.
Solve integrity problems first; technological problems second
My claim is that the suffering caused by integrity problems can, with sufficient understanding and action, be dramatically reduced or eliminated, resulting in peace and joie de vivre. I also stipulate that, if you solve any integrity problems that may exist first, then any associated remaining technological problems will be easier to address.
Stay with me
Bring your skepticism to the table. But stay with me by using “Ask Dwight How” and I predict you’ll be able to know and experience this for yourself.