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Accepting that the past is past...
If needed, create new, empowering interpretations of your past that replace any painful or disempowering interpretations...
The bare facts of your past do not get in your way; it's only disempowering interpretations that stop you...

In America, we would not make any distinction between these two expressions. But it makes a difference in China. If the man marries the woman, then it means that he and his family are recognized to have contributed more to the marriage (and therefore any children will carry the man's name). However, if the woman marries the man, it is the opposite, with the children assuming the family name of the mother.

Tribalism never just appears more "civilized" today...
"We the people demand justice for..."
"I will fight for my doesn't matter that I don't have a beef with the guys that I will kill."
"We need to take care of our own."

Do I have self-discipline?
People who know my life and schedule say that I do. (Just one of many things: I exercise regularly.)
If fact, almost everyone says that I have more self-discipline than they do.
However, I don't think so.
Would you say that people are exercising self-discipline when they consistently eat two-three meals a day?
Generally, people eat two-three meals a day, not out of self-discipline, but because they are enjoying the process. It doesn't require self-discipline.
The reason it appears to others that I exercise a lot of self-discipline is because I put focus on finding a way to enjoy the process FIRST. I make sure I can enjoy the process.
I show respect and consideration to Dwight-Now (the Dwight that just wants to enjoy now).
When we are enjoying the process, even though it appears that we are exercising self-discipline, we are not. And it's easy to be persistent and keep going.
Self-discipline is over-rated. We should design our lives so that it is not needed.

Sometimes the best way to give is to take.
By graciously accepting someone's help or even asking for help which they are happy that you asked and are happy to give to you, then you have given to them.

What is the world’s most dangerous word?

You might think it is a curse word or a dirty word.
You might think it is a -ism word, like capitalism or communism.
But the world's most dangerous word is a simple word that we use every day: "should."
"I should be better."
"He shouldn't treat me so unfairly."
"People should be kind."
Why is "should" so toxic?
Because it is fighting with reality and because we use it so often. It is the #1 word we use to fight with ourselves, to fight with others, and to fight with the way things are.

Sometimes the easiest way to have more money is, not by earning more, but by finding ways to save more.
For example, I save a LOT of money by living in China instead of the USA. And, even in China, I save money (and eat better) by cooking my own food rather than eating in restaurants. I also save money by staying at Airbnbs or less expensive hotels. I also save money by eating well and exercising regularly rather than paying doctors to try to fix what didn't need to be broken to start with. Another example, I live in a city that has such good weather that I don't have to pay for cooling and heating my home.
By focusing more on saving rather than earning, I have a lot more flexibility in enjoying the process of my life and not having to focus as much on "making more money."

Others often notice that I am...
not a procrastinator
a good listener
and generous.

But I never try to...
be persistent
avoid procrastination
be patient
be a good listener
or be generous.

These all come easily and automatically to me because I have found ways to enjoy all the processes of my life.

Nature's "purpose" in using pleasure and pain is to help keep human's alive so they can make more humans.

Each human's purpose regarding staying alive is to enjoy more pleasure (which requires avoiding a lot of pain).

For the most part, these two purposes have worked fairly well together.

There are only two results that are self-justifying (except when traded off against each other):

1) The keeping/gaining of happiness/pleasure and
the avoiding/removing of pain/suffering.

All other results, all other intentions, have their ultimate justification in these two results.


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